Two years today since my sister died

[onlyoranges]

And what a shit day it's been. I am mad as hell at her and try not to think of her at all but of course that's impossible. Our last conversation plays over and over. It's been a tough week build up to today and then today when I just felt flat. I guess I am going to say what all bereaved people say I really really wish it hadn't happened.

I'm very sorry for your loss, onlyoranges. Have you had any help working through your grief?

Yes the usual counselling but it didn't really help. She killed herself and 6 weeks later I was diagnosed with a disease that I think is going to kill me and right now I wish it would. Sorry for the pity party. Thanks for replying.

So very sorry

Jesus oranges, what an absolutely shit thing to have happened. I'm really sorry that you (and your family?) are going through this.

It is shit isn't it Truck! That actually feels quite good to say.

I am very sorry. It is absolutely shit. I hope you have some support.

Oranges, I'm very sorry for your loss. My sister also committed suicide 12years ago so I understand your anger, frustration, guilt and pain. It really is a heartbreaking bereavement.

It's clichéd but the only thing that has helped me is time, it still stabs at me and I still think 'you silly cow' regularly but its not daily and I no longer replay conversations or the events of that horrible day over and over.

I'm very sorry too that you are unwell, do you have some rl support?