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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

think i need... some sort of help

19 replies

mumtoall · 25/08/2006 18:42

I had a misscarage at 15 weeks and the baby would have been born in may. After it happened i went back to hospital a week later and spoke to their support nurse. it was ok but she let me speek and i was not sure what i was feeling or what i wanted to say. It was also held in a side room on the ward i was in when it happened.

i have put on quite a lot of weight since. people have even asked if i'm pregnant. i think its a comfort thing that if i'm big i still have a conection with baby, i'm desprate too loose weight.

looked in yellow page for councler and thay charge between £30-£50 per hour can't afford this so wanted to know if anyone knows what to do?

OP posts:
mimi1uk · 25/08/2006 18:46

what about contavting cruise its a coumselling service or contacting ur gp, they should be able to arrange something for u x

Original poster
mumtoall · 25/08/2006 18:49

Do't get on with GP very well as they refused to send me for a scan when pregnant eventhough i was sick and bleeding.

Do you know the details or how i find them out about cruise

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Original poster
mumtoall · 25/08/2006 19:05

has any one else had this or is it just me being silly and finding somethin to blame for being fat

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WigWamBam · 25/08/2006 19:11

Your only alternative to paying through the nose for counselling is through the GP. If you don't have any faith that the GP will help, change your GP. Or as Mimi suggested you can contact Cruse Bereavement Care for support.

I think you need to forget about your weight for now, and concentrate on getting to the root of the problem - counselling can help, and it would be a shame to miss out on that simply because you don't get on with your GP.

Original poster
mumtoall · 25/08/2006 19:20

is counselling free through the gp? thanks for you advice

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 25/08/2006 19:28

Yes, it's free through the GP. Is there another doctor you can see at the practice if you think your own won't be sympathetic?

Original poster
mumtoall · 25/08/2006 19:34

it,s really handy and the other doctors close by has a bad reputation

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Original poster
mumtoall · 25/08/2006 19:35

i,m just a bit worried that it,s such a long time ago that they wont do anything.

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 25/08/2006 19:43

It's not that long ago though, is it - and as it's still affecting you now then it needs addressing.

Please go and see them.

Original poster
mumtoall · 25/08/2006 19:47

will phone on monday

OP posts:
waggledancer · 25/08/2006 20:27

Don't know if you've already had this from anywhere, might be helpful miscarriage association

Talking to people who've had the same experience can be helpful, counselling via your gp may take time to come through

Original poster
mumtoall · 26/08/2006 17:10

thanks did recive some info when the miscarriage happened. will look through info again

OP posts:
horseshoe · 29/08/2006 13:35

mumtoall,

Firstly I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

My mum runs a free counselling service in the south east. Although I'm sure they hold phone sessions. It's a christian run charity although they certainly dont preach at you.
They help people who have had abortions or miscarriages.

Although my mum can't tell me details...what she has told me is that the bulk of the people who go to see her are actually now in their 50's and had a m/c or abortion in their 20's so please do not worry that it was too long ago. It's only natural to mourn the loss of your child. Even more so since you had gone past the 12 week mark when all is supposed to be OK and you have seen your child.
Your probably feeling very angry aswell...that you didn't get your scan when you were bleeding....Could you have saved him/her.....Of course the answer is No but you would think these....it's your motherly instinct to.

I think you need to disconnect your weight from the situation......even forget about it for now. You will always have a connection with your child. You carried him/her for 15 weeks and nothing can be more special than that.

Original poster
mumtoall · 29/08/2006 20:45

I've booked a doctors appointment for next week to ask them if they can set up counselling but i have been told that it can be quite a while befoe it would start.

would it be possible if you could send me the details of how to contact your mums counselling service. if you don't want to put it on here let me know and i'll give you my email.

thanks

OP posts:
shhhh · 30/08/2006 15:46

sorry to hear this. I had to go through x2 mc's before I finally admitted that I needed help emotionally.

I contacted my maternity unit as they have a mw consellor who is available for women experiencing mc's/issues conceiving and even traumatic births etc.

I didn't need to be referred and there was no waiting time. I understand not all nhs hospitals offer this but it may be worth asking.

I got all the help and support I needed. Thinking of you xx

Original poster
mumtoall · 01/09/2006 08:25

I did go back to the ward a week later but did not find it very helpful. thanks i've got a doctors appointment next week.

OP posts:
MrsFio · 01/09/2006 08:37

You can get cheaper counselling, so hopefully someone will be along with a link. i think if you google 'cheaper counselling' it may come up with some sites.

My counselkling for instance cost £10 a session

horseshoe · 01/09/2006 09:04

Care $ life is the umbrella that my mums pregnancy crisis centre comes under and they can find you the most local, free, councelling. I will try and get the link.

My mum is also happy to help by way of telephone councelling if you are not local to her but she says face to face councelling is always best

Original poster
mumtoall · 04/09/2006 12:49

Thanks for the help with links. i'm going to try to link with them now.

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