At Uncles funeral today and riddled with guilt grieving for the wrong person

[notasheep]

He was 83,had a fantastic life,travelled the world and there i am sobbing my heart out with my head full of 2 girlfriends who died last year.

Feeling really bad about the whole day

notasheep, why feel guilty? You were there, and he had a wonderful life. But you are still grieving lives taken away too soon. I am sorry it has been a hard day for you. take care x

Happens LOADS at funerals. Never been to a funeral when I didn't think of at least one other person i'd lost.

Sorry for your loss and sorry you've had such a rubbish day, but don't feel guilty about thinking of other people.

hugs xx

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in a way, funerals are a chance to grieve and think about everyone you have lost iykwim

notasheep - I have cried for my mum at every funeral and (almost every) mass I have been to since she died. I stopped feeling guilty about that a long time ago.

If you didn't mourn/grieve for the person whose funeral it was as well then that might be a bit odd maybe. Although as you point out, your Uncle has had a long and happy life and tbh, other than the fact that you are going to miss him, there's not that much to cry about when somebody dies in those circumstances (bit blunt, but I hope you get my point).

They did a fantastic screening of photos of him for his whole life-never knew he lost a son at 11months from cot death

I dont think it helps that i am so knackered-drove from Wales to Nottingham and back in one day

funerals bring back memories of every other funeral you've been too IME.
I wept buckets at my friend's Dad's funeral even though I'd only met him twice and was essentially there to support my friend. It just so happened that it was on the first anniversary of my god daughter's death

Juts think about all the people who cried when Princess Diana died - they didn't know her but I bet loads of them were thinking about other people that had died and a public mourning like that sort of gave them permission to cry about it.

Please try not to feel guilty - hang in there

I did something far worse at my uncles funeral!

It was at the crem and there were two services at the same time - and I really was grieving for the wrong person

Don't beat yourself upxx

It was respectful to your uncle to attend his funeral and appreciate his life. Whether or not you grieve for a person is about you, not about them. It is not disrespectful not to grieve - some people want joy at their funerals and an appreciation of life. It's all right for you to remember your friends - it takes away nothing from your uncle.

That is the reason why I didn't attend the last two funerals that I may have done had my own mum not died in December. I just know that I will really cry and it would look very odd as the people whos funeral I might have gone to where not very close at all, but people in the neighbourhood I grew up in (and still live)....

I would however go to a family or close friends funeral and expect to cry but know that it will be ok etc....

I saw quite a few people crying at my mums funeral and was quite surprised until I realised that they were probably crying for someone else. or crying for us as a family (ie my friends etc)...

No one minds and I expect it is expected...