So sad tonight [sad]

[shallweshop]

For Valentines Day for DH I had our wedding video transferred to DVD. As we havent had a video player for some time we haven't seen it for ages. I was expecting it to be hard but seeing all my loved ones on screen who are now no longer here was devastating - my mum, dad, uncle, father in law, DH's uncle and my sister :-(

Seeing my sister was so painful - my gorgeous, radiant Maid of Honour - my best friend. How can she have been dead for 6 months? I just can't accept it.

I can only imagine how hard it is to see them looking vibrant and full of life. My father passed away recently, after a long illness that reduced him to a fragile man I could hardly recognise. When I see photos of him looking healthy and happy it is heart breaking. Sending you hugs x

In some respects this helped me come to terms with my mum's death last June.

I am beginning to forget the way she looked not long before she died- gaunt, thin, her face ravaged by the cruel disease she had, looking like a very elderly confused lady (which she wasn't- only 68.)

Looking at videos and photos of her a few years ago when she was happy and well, eases me somehow- but doesn't stop me howling. Sorry for your losses.

Thank you Fran and Purple. Though it is very painful, I am glad I have the DVD as a permanent record of the people I have lost. I can show it to my children and keep the memory of them alive.

You have lost so many people. You poor thing. Even though it was hard to watch in time the video will be a comfort. I am thinking of you x

Thank you sunshine.