What happens after someone dies?

[CecyHall]

My grandad died today. He was very poorly and it was not a shock but still very sad. I'm keep just crying out of the blue.

It is the first death we have had in the family and I don't know what happens now, from a practical sense.

I want to be able to support my mum as best as I can so I wondered if anyone could advise or suggest a website where I could just understand so I can help her (and also answer any questions that my son might have as I've not told him yet).
Many thanks

I'm sorry for your loss.

Have a look here cruse. There's practical advice as well as information about the grieving process which might be helpful.

If you & your Mum will be arranging the funeral then once you've chosen your funeral director they will help you with the practicalities. Go and see a few and chose the ones you feel comfortable with.

On a more personal level just give your mum support where you can, let her cry, talk, laugh whatever she needs. The grieving process takes a long time so don't expect her to be 'ok' in a few days, weeks or even months. She will appreciate an extra hug or a little bunch of flowers on her Dads birthday & maybe offering to take her to the cemetery/crematorium on Fathers Day?

Also take some time to grieve yourself. Be gentle with each other

xx

Thank you for your reply and advice. The cruse website was especially helpful in how to talk to my son. He has gone to school at his insistence but I'm worried whether he is really ok.

I feel fine one minute and in floods of tears the next. I imagined I'd be in a constant state of feeling awful but it just feels like it's in the background and keeps catching me off guard.

Yes, it's awful feeling. It creeps up and catches you totally off guard doesn't it? Please don't think you're going mad or not 'doing it properly' that's completely normal!

I don't know how old your son is but whilst obviously you will be worried for him don't get too tied up in knots. Children have an amazing capacity to accept death in quite a practical and non emotional way. Keep an eye on him, answer his questions truthfully and you will be providing him with confidence to deal with death in the future which will be invaluable to him.

Wishing you gentle days.

Winston's Wish is awesome for children, getting my 4 year old through the loss of my mum - her Grandma and really the most significant adult in her life after me.

The funeral directors will give you information including a list of what you will need to do, such as registering the death, and if your Grandfather had a solicitor that's also a good source of direction.

I'm sorry about your loss - however natural it was, it's the loss of someone you loved, so don't try and write off your grief or put your feelings down.