Words of confort

[nenehooo]

Hi, just need some advice. A friend has lost her toddler to a terminal illness. I just want to send her a message, but I'm lost for words, which sounds terrible. It's just so unfair.

Hi nene, it's devastating and I'm not sure how you can help other than just being there if needed. my friends daughter also tragically died and the trauma was truly unbelievable. It was very unexpected and all these years later still makes me upset to think about. It's so unfair. My friend likes the fact that I talk about her daughter. She takes comfort in me remembering her and talking about her life. I don't have any words of wisdom but just be a good friend. I hope you're ok.

Thank you. She's actually a colleague, so not really close, but she's truly one of the loveliest people I know and I just feel so sad. It's just the most awful situation. She was getting fantastic medical care, so I'm just hoping she was as prepared as you can be. I've read other threads that say similar - that they want people to remember those they've lost. Will keep that in mind, thank you.

Thanks everlong - sent a brief text just saying we were thinking of them and sending love. Will send a letter in a while.

Agree with all said below. Acknowledge the little child by naming them. And if you don't know what to say, then say that. She may find that people, especially colleagues, will be awkward, or perhaps even not make contact in case they 'upset' her. Encourage them to think differently - she will not 'forget' this pain if it is not mentioned, it will be part of her forever. And when she returns to work, maybe a kind little gesture just to let her know you are there to help if needed.