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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

message for mimi1uk

59 replies

coggy · 31/03/2006 19:27

I wanted to type something to you the other night but didn't want to barge in on someones else's thread.

How are you feeling today?
My baby was also stillborn. He was 40weeks - he actually died on his due date as his cord was in a knot.
I am so pleased that you have your dear son and I know that he will never replace your first boy.

He will always be a part of your life.
If you want to talk I will be checking this thread often for you.
Take care.
x

OP posts:

mimi1uk · 07/04/2006 23:08

u have to push for it as no one else will,, is ur partner very understanding

Original poster

coggy · 07/04/2006 23:15

He is...and he is very keen to have another baby but...I don't think that men always get that it is only a couple of days that you can get pregnant in - he's more relaxed although he's really keen - if that makes sense?!

I guess ignorance is bliss.
If I try to say when a good time is he feels under pressure..so I am trying to be reasonably chilled out - which works most of the time!!
But sometimes........

OP posts:

mimi1uk · 07/04/2006 23:23

can i ask how old u are, i got pregnant on hols which really helped us relax

Original poster

coggy · 07/04/2006 23:28

I am 34 and so is dh.
We are on hols soon so i hope that works but i don't hold out much hope because of the lack of implanting time.

I will be very relaxed tho cos I have decided to 'write off' this month so no ov. kits etc. and just enjoying our holidays together. :)

It would be fab if it happened but I am not expecting great things!

OP posts:

mimi1uk · 07/04/2006 23:29

i so hope it does u r so young which is in ur favour it makes me so mad others get some thing so precious so freely and do not even want it and then others have to climb walls to get there,,,, how are u coping with the loss of baby billy, can i ask his birth weight

mimi1uk · 07/04/2006 23:31

ARE U holidaying any where nice

Original poster

coggy · 07/04/2006 23:38

We are actually coping very well...until last week! I had a bit of a wobbly because it was 10 months on and nothing was happening pregnancy-wise and it was mother's Day and I was ill etc. etc! Generally we are both fairly matter of fact and know that things happen for a reason (we are both Christians and, although we don't understand it, we know that there is some reason for what has happened).

Billy was 6 pounds 15. When we had our last scan we were told that he was well over average weight - scary!! But actually he was pretty light when he was born.

He was a real fidget throughout the pregnancy which was good and bad!
Good because we both bonded with him very quickly - he reacted to dh early on which was lovely.
Bad because he fidgeted his way into knotting his cord! Before we knew that he was a boy I actually nicked-named him Bridget the Fidget so when they said that his cord was in a knot - I wasn't surprised!

OP posts:

mimi1uk · 07/04/2006 23:45

its so sad, joshy was 5lb 5oz, but quite big fir his weight,, did u get some picture or hold him?

Original poster

coggy · 07/04/2006 23:53

The hospital took a couple of polaroids which are nice as well as some on the digitsl camera which aren't as good because they were taken later and he was quite blue then.
We also had a footprint, handprint and a cot card for him which we have really appreciated.

We both held him for as long as we needed to and I took my F-I-Law to see him the next morning.

I think holding him made it more real.
I certainly felt like it hadn't happened a few days later - I'm very glad for the photos cos I always worry that i may forget exactly what he looked like.

How about you?
Did you have photos/footprints?

OP posts:

mimi1uk · 07/04/2006 23:57

pretty much the same as u i still have to pinch myself as its like a horror film i have a lock of hair and tons of scan pictures,, and some clothes he had on and a blanket, joshy was buried was billy buried or cremated

Original poster

coggy · 08/04/2006 00:01

we had billy cremated - just because out church doesn't have a grave yard and it didn't seem right to us to bury him at a church we didn't go to.
The crem. is in town so we decided that that is where we will also go eventually as it isn't linked to any church in particular.

OP posts:

mimi1uk · 08/04/2006 00:05

its been really nice talking to you, im so tired i am gonna hop off to bed now.,, ill be on again tom on and off so ill keep an eye out for u and see if i can get onto msn it would not work tonight, take care honey,,, nighty nitexx

Original poster

coggy · 08/04/2006 00:07

I am going to have to go to bed now!

I will be around at about the same time tomorrow evening if you are.

I have enjoyed chatting tonight.
It's often difficult to talk about things to people that I know.
It's also really good to be able to talk to someone who's been in a very similar situation.
Thank you :)

Hopefully speak more tomorrow.

OP posts:

Original poster

coggy · 08/04/2006 00:08

Weird that we were typing the same thing at the same time!!

See you tomorrow!
:)

OP posts:

mimi1uk · 08/04/2006 00:13

great mind think alike,, its been just the same for me thanks again, nite xx

Original poster

coggy · 08/04/2006 22:39

Hi - just to let you know I am around tonight - but not for long.
Couldn't get up this morning cos I was tired!!
Too many late nights addicted to MN!!
Around for about half an hour now. :)

OP posts:

mimi1uk · 08/04/2006 22:41

hi ya honey hows u today

Original poster

coggy · 08/04/2006 22:43

Fine thanks..been trying to sort my email out and think I've deleted some important bits..but hey, never mind!

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Original poster

coggy · 08/04/2006 22:44

Did you sort out messenger at all?

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mimi1uk · 08/04/2006 23:09

not yet would never let me sign in ill try again hopefully 4 tom, have u had a nice day, bveen such a nice day herer today

Original poster

coggy · 08/04/2006 23:12

It's been fab here today - lovely sunny spring day.
Whereabouts are you?

OP posts:

mimi1uk · 08/04/2006 23:14

southend essex

Original poster

coggy · 08/04/2006 23:16

My boss is from southend - small world!
How are you feeling today?

OP posts:

mimi1uk · 08/04/2006 23:25

having a ok day gosh small world it is,,, have u been there ?? not that great,, been raining here tonight,,, riley is asleep he had a nut do last nite at 3 in the morning,, and ending uo giving me a swollen eye he hit me in the eye and now i have a big fat eye so have not been out today how funny my 7 month oold beatin me up

Original poster

coggy · 08/04/2006 23:29

a tough little nut eh?!!

no I haven't been to southend - closest is probably kent - we went there a month ago to visit friends.

I'm going to have to go now - it's soooo easy to lose track of time on here isn't it!!
Should have gone to let the dog out about 20 minutes ago!

Speak soon,
:)

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