Not sure how much more I can take.

[bath84]

Lost 2 close family members in last year. 1 to cancer. I have now been told I have a condition. Googled it and it turns out it can be pre cancerous.
Know I am being irrational because I am sure doctors will monitor it carefully and appropriate action taken but I am so scared.
I cannot even bear to talk to anyone about it. Know I need to but just don't know what to say. Also worried about how my family will feel.

Sorry to hear this. These things do seem to come at once. If the condition is pre cancerous then at least you will be treated in time and all should be well.

I'm sorry for your losses, and it's understandable that you have heightened anxiety about your own health now. Rather than googling which can give misleading information, can you have a chat with your GP who may be able to reassure you?
Keep posting if it helps. It's natural to want to protect your family, but I'm sure they would want to support you.

Bereavement can really weaken your emotional defences and exacerbate everything. Sounds like you could do with some support - as GRW said, post on here as much as you need to, and maybe your family are stronger than you think. Talking to people can help bring some perspective when you're having a really bad time.