I am punching the pillow again

[missdisorganised1]

Sometimes I wake up in the night feeling so angry with my mind racing and full of all the jobs I need to do. I find myself thinking of all the things that my friends get to share with their Mum and Dad. Exam results day, graduation day or my wedding day. All stolen from me by a 17 year driver showing off. So I punch the pillow again and again.

BUT. It was a nice uncomplicated night out with Derek from school. Cinema and a pizza and just a little peck on the cheek from him when I dropped him off.

I have a mound of work to do and I think I can just feel tummy cramps coming on.

Good morning missD. I saw your housework thread yesterday. Pillow punching is terribly helpful way of getting anger out safely but I bet you're knackered though now.

I was awake 2 hours last night and have to now crawl through a shed load of chores. But I'm starting off with a nice 2 hours off to make up for the sleep loss.

Make a list before bed or anytime off of what you can realistically achieve next. Put it by your bed. Then as you lie churning it in your mind, try and train yourself just to say 'yes' to all the stuff you're worrying about 'yes it's on the list, i can forget it till later'.

Make sure when later comes you do a good go at the things on the list, so you have shown yourself it works.

Using this technique, after a while you might be able to shrug midnight checking of to-do lists right off. I can. But had to train myself to it.

Do some of the things on you list now, then have a really leisurely healthy lunch and nice rest to help ease your stomach symptoms. Have yourself a nice low-key, care-taking day.

ps. When you say Derek I picture the one Cheryl Cole is dating.

Hi missd,

I was looking for you on the other thread!

I can totally understand your anger, and punching the pillow is a great idea. It is very early days since the loss of your mum and dad. You must miss them terribly. What happened to the other driver?

Remember, there's always someone here to talk, if you want to.

Yes I do miss them every day but I know they would be very cross if I allowed their death to ruin my future. So I just keep working. (Actually my Nan told me all this but she was right)

The 17 year was in hospital for a while and was charged with causing death by dangerous driving. I think he will end up spending 2 years and a few months in prison or whatever prison is for younger people.

I am going to need a new pillow soon.

Hi missd,, I'm sure their death won't ruin your future but you will never forget them. Remember, if the exams don't go well, it's not the end of the world. I'm sure your teachers tell you that too. You can always do a gap year, change your mind etc... I say that to my own teenagers too.

Are your gp's your mum's parents or your dad's?

Did you contact any of the orgs we mentioned on the other thread?