3 month old-overtiredness in evenings/in need of strategy to get her to bed earlier!

[Sophie1106]

Hi mumsnetters

Been feeling very contented for the last month or so with looking after baby but my baby gets very overtired and almost inconsolable after 8pm. Generally at this stage i do anything I can to make her feel better and sometimes she'll nap at this time. I nurse her or walk around and try to keep her close but we've come to the conclusion after speaking to other mums and just general observation that she is overtired. She naps fairly regularly during the day but only for half an hour at a time which she has always done.We have a bedtime routine, bath, feed and bed but this is when we go to bed about 10/11 pm. We are now in the process of trying to change this routine so that she goes to bed at 7pm but as it stands she's isn't getting it and only has a nap and wakes up half an hour later. We then end up trying to take it in turns to get her to sleep in her cot but lastnight she didn't go down at all and we finally got her up again at 9pm. I realise that it could take time to change but just wondering really whether aiming for 7pm from 10pm is a bit too much earlier to begin with and I am interested in hearing how others' have done it. Also as to whether the baby changed their feeding routine during this time.Thanks in advance for your support!

DD (now 3) used to stay up until 10ish (when we went to bed) until she was about 3 months old. She was always a nightmare after 6pm and we used to think she was far too unsettled/hungry/colicky to go to bed earlier. However, we went on holiday with (baby-experienced) friends who encouraged us to put DD to bed earlier. We started putting her to bed at 7ish and after a few nights of trauma (and a few more weeks of reverting back to night-time feeding) all was well. I now think she was overtired and actually NEEDED to go to bed at 7ish.
With DS (now 5mo), we started putting him to bed at 8pm (as I feed him after DD goes to bed) when he was about 9 wks old, and after a few nights of having to to make a real effort to settle him, he was fine. I just had to do a few more weeks (as before) of nightime feeding. Essentially I had been feeding him at 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10pm, and this changed to 7am, 10am, 1pm, 5pm, 7ish-pm, 3am. The 3am feed became progressively later and after about 2 weeks it just 'turned into' the 6am/7am feed.
I would definitely persevere with making the bedtime earlier. IME it is easiest in the long run to go straight for a 7 or 8pm bedtime, and just brace yourself for a few tough nights (and a few more nightime feeds).

On another note, not sure if this is your first child, but I think one of the hardest things to do when you have a baby is to change a routine that you've been fairly happy with (especially if you are a routine type of person like me). My DS has recently gone to 4 feeds per day (my DD ALWAYS had 5 until she was fully weaned) and it has thrown me into confusion!

Thanks this has reassured me! Night time feeds have started again when she was sleeping through and I figured it was to do with the change in routine.I am perservering but she cries so much when she goes down and I feel guilty. I don't want to get into bad habits to get ger to go to sleep either though. I normally leave her to cry for about 5 mins at a time for naps but she's usually asleep within 10 mins. Evenings she cries longer-it's agonizing.

When you try to get her into bed at 7pm, what is your routine beforehand? When is her last nap, how long for, what about last feed - long/short etc?