What would you have done in this situation with 24mo?

[wwyd2026]

Nearly two weeks ago, DS came down with hand, foot and mouth and obviously went off his food and drink for a little while due to the mouth ulcers. He’s fine now though and is back at nursery.

The thing is, since then, he has just refused to feed himself. He will only eat if we spoon feed him. It’s getting really ridiculous.

I have just popped him down in the high chair and put a bowl of Weetabix and fruit in front of him and he just completely refused to feed himself. I gave him a couple of spoonfuls then tried to get him to do it with his hand on the spoon too. He utterly refused.

He then indicated that he wanted a book. I said, no book unless you use your spoon yourself.

Well, that did it. He threw the spoon on the floor. Then got handfuls of the weetabix and absolutely flung them all over the kitchen.

How do we parent this? Give in and spoon feed him? Say, that’s it breakfast time is over (though he’ll be hungry)? DH wants to take a very calm and reassuring approach, yes of course but down what path? DH says ‘he’s not himself,’ well it’s been ten days so yes I think this is himself! This is him!

Also how the hell do I get him to use a spoon again? We’ve been trying all week eg just with yoghurt. DH just acquiesces and spoon feeds him. But we can’t keep doing that, he’s two, not a weaning baby. It’s making me very frustrated.

What happens when you give him finger foods e.g. cheese on toast or cut up tomatoes?

And does he only eat sat at a high chair or does he have a space that he can come and go to as he pleases? Like his own little table with a chair.

He is picking at the finger foods, I’d say. He will eat them though.

Yes, we have a high chair at the dining table. He does have a little table and chair but that’s where he scribbles or does a puzzle etc.

Take a break from anything involving a spoon for a few days, then introduce a fancy new spoon and act casual.

Is he still a little unwell? Have you tried him with a dose of Calpol about half an hour before the food?

After being unwell, he may need a little time to get back to his usual routine. I’d spoon-feed him if that’s what helps him eat for now, while leaving a spoon within reach so he can try himself without pressure. If he throws food, calmly end the meal and try again later. At 24 months, I wouldn’t turn feeding himself into a battle.

Thank you all, I will try these tips.

I think I would have fed a 24 month old who was feeling under the weather too. Hope things improve for you soon

24 months seems really old to you when they're your oldest and they've grown up from being a baby in front of you.
Actually they're still really young. Give him some finger food, let him play with it and eat and you spoon feed him yoghurt or similar.
They won't be still insisting you feed them when they're 10yo.

If you insist on him feeding himself when he really doesn't feel like eating, you're starting a food battle, which ultimately will bring you a lot of stress and you won't necessarily win.

When they're ill they can regress a bit. Dd2 was walking at 8 months, but when ill would revert to crawling until she was about 2yo, for example. When she felt better, then she'd be back to running.

24 months seems really old to you when they're your oldest and they've grown up from being a baby in front of you.
Actually they're still really young.

Completely agree with this! I'd think they're still not that well and spoon feed them. I think my two year old did this for a week or so after being unwell.

Focus on foods that are gentle on his mouth for the next few days. If he needs a little “babying” it isn’t going to cause any lasting harm or habits. Soon enough he is going to be fighting you for independence.

Introduce the child with one food at a time and see their reaction. Try to introduce foods which are liked by them as observed by their appetite and reaction to food. Also let them eat themselves even though that creates a mess, this is because the want to explore food and feel its texture so it is good for them to hold it.

Thanks so much all, nursery told me that he was feeding himself at least 60% of the time this week, so we bought him a new cutlery set with his favourite character on. DH has introduced it to him tonight with great fanfare, and lo and behold, DS is feeding himself his curry as I type!

Happy days :)

Glad he’s eating and feeding himself. He must be feeling a lot better