Hi everyone,
I really need some other parents' opinions on this.
My son is 32 months old. He's been at nursery since he was 13 months old. We've had some ups and downs, but the last 8 months have been a real struggle.
When he turned 2, he moved into the 2–3-year-old room, which is much more structured. They do circle time where children take turns standing up and doing something, more organised games, and simple routines like being called to walk into the dining room and sit in their place for lunch.
Since moving into this group, he seems to have really struggled. We've been called in by the nursery twice.
The first time, they were concerned that he was behind with his speech, wasn't responding to his name, and wasn't following instructions. I was really worried and thought, "How could I not have noticed this at home?" But then I realised that at home he can follow two- or three-step instructions in both English and Italian. His language has been improving, and he's now using simple 3-4 word sentences.
When we went back to nursery, they said they still hadn't seen much improvement. That's when we realised the real issue seems to be that he is a completely different child at nursery. Apparently, he has hardly spoken to anyone there for the past 8 months.
When he's in the room, he sometimes refuses to do things. For example, if they call him to walk into the dining room, he just freezes and doesn't move. To the staff, it looks like he's not responding to his name or following simple instructions. He occasionally does something similar with us at home when he doesn't want to engage. It's almost like he's pretending you aren't speaking to him—he won't look at you or answer his name. But most of the time, he seems like a completely typical little boy.
I know he's not especially advanced for his age. He's still in nappies, and his sentences are still quite basic. But he really likes other children. When we meet up with friends who have children, he's always excited to play with them.
Socially, he's still immature. For example, if he wants another child to do something, he'll tell me instead of telling them. He might say, "I want to hide together under the blanket," rather than asking the other child directly. Also, if another child is talking to him, he doesn't always respond or pay full attention. Even so, they can happily spend hours together playing without much adult involvement.
I'm really struggling to understand whether he is genuinely behind, as nursery thinks, or whether he's simply a very different child there than he is at home. I'm wondering, if the nursery staff saw him outside of nursery, would have the same concerns?
I'd really love to hear from other parents.
What was your child like socially at 32 months? Were they still mostly doing parallel play, or were they chatting, engaging and playing well with other children? Has anyone experienced something similar, where their child behaved completely differently at nursery than at home?
I'm feeling really worried and not even sure what the best thing to do is to help him.
Thanks everyone.