16m and still no words or gestures :( the waiting is heartbreaking

[WorriedMama2025]

I honestly am at a loss, the NHS referrals are atleast 18m+ wait, I am doing EVERYTHING I can when with him (narrating, singing, talking, modelling gestures), has been in nursery since 12m which has not had any impact on his development at all IMO, private SLT’s are either fully booked or not taking any children under 2yrs old….. I just don’t know where to turn now. It’s absolutely heartbreaking watching your baby be so behind his peers and having to just wait….. I am the sort of person who wants to be doing something about it now

I know in my gut he’ll get a diagnosis down the line, but it’s the limbo, it’s mentally draining me, I feel like I’m failing my son, I’m also questioning every day what did I do to cause this. My first is NT so this is my first rodeo dealing with ND.

i just want to get cracking with helping him as much as I can

I know from personal experience that its super hard trying to know how to help with s&l development if you're not a salt. But he could just be developing later in this one area and he's not actually that far behind, my NT DD didn't say her first word until 16 months and I think she only ever pointed once. Have a look at this checklist of skills pre-verbal skills, https://teachmetotalk.com/2018/07/30/sorting-out-the-11-prelinguistic-skills/ and practise those skills with him, move onto the next when he's mastered the one you're working on. My DS pointed at 2.5 and the first words came 6 months later, he had speech therapy for two years but did catch up towards the end of reception / year 1.

Also I think the organisation we used for speech therapy offers online if you're not in any of their areas and they're fantastic, pm me if you want to take a look at their website.

@LivelyGreyShark hey 👋
thanks soooo much will PM you!
was your DS diagnosed? If so, what age was you able to get him diagnosed at?

DS was diagnosed with a severe s&l delay and social communication delay around the time he turned 4 but i'd asked them to hold off the final assessments for 6 months as he was making so much progress with the speech therapy.

Have you had his hearing checked because they will mess you about until you get that done. My almost 4yo is still basically non verbal and he's only just had his hearing test and passed it so I can finally show them that it's nothing to do with any ear problems why he can't speak. I got fobbed off for so long with the whole wait and see, children develop at different times. Now here we are at almost 4yo with no clear words at all, only sounds. He's been referred to be assessed because of other issues. Hopefully for you it's just a case of your little one just developing speech later than normal. I completely understand how you feel and I know it's soul destoying when you can't get anywhere

@Devilsmommy - so sorry to hear that! The advocating you have to do to make people listen is crazy…. Mums know best! I hope they take you seriously now and your little one gets the help he needs/deserves

mine did have a hearing test but was “inconclusive” because he would only let them put the machine thing in one ear and also the game they played where a noise was made and they’d say look at point etc he just didn’t play ball with…. It’s rebooked for next month so we shall see how that goes.

it may be lost in your memories now but did you have any concerns with his development when he was younger or was his just speech delay with no words? X

@WorriedMama2025 it was mostly the lack of speech really. Though he did do other milestones slightly later. It was crazy because he was walking from 8 months so the lack of speech was weird. It's so hard when they're so little and everyone gives you the wait and see advice 🙄

@Devilsmommy Wow… 8m!! Clever boy!
mines nowhere near close 🤣😩….

yes my son has hit all milestones on the later end or even further. Some he hasn’t even hit like little ones like blowing raspberries

yes the “oh I’m sure he’ll grow out of it” or “he’s just a late bloomer”….

That doesn't sound like the same kind of hearing test my son had when he was two, there were definitely no verbal instructions, how could there be for a non-verbal child who doesn't understand language? I can't remember too much about it now but it was done at the local hospital and there were odd looking toys in boxes, I think it would have been a Visual reinforcement or response audiometry (VRA) hearing test, there's more about the different types of hearing tests in children here https://www.ndcs.org.uk/advice-support/all/causes-types-signs-deafness/types-hearing-tests
I know they're professionals but its worth checking that they gave your DS an age appropriate test.