Any only parents here who don’t have much of a support network and feeling like don’t know how to make anymore changes or keep going?

[naivemelody88]

I am an only parent, widowed and other child’s dad was deported. I have two daughters 9&11, 18 months apart in age, no friends or family except my ageing mum who is struggling herself right now as my sister recently died. I don’t know how to stop my kids fighting all the time, I don’t know if it’s normal, if they'll grow out of it, what I can do different, they share a ti y bedroom I try to make the most of the space but our flat is very small, the neighbours have complained now to our landlords, I feel tense 24/7 about them fighting, my eldest doesn’t seem to sleep enough she has me up until 1am a lot of the time, I have them in sports clubs 3 days a week each and I’m a student, they complain and sometimes refuse to do the activities as if it’s a negative when it’s supposed be a positive for them. If they are out together a lot of the time they fight even in public. I need help.

💐I'm sorry you are feeling this way, I have no advice but thought I'd trying bumping the thread up so it gets noticed.

Thank you that was really kind 🙂

It sounds as though are are all struggling with emotions, it's all come out towards each other. How many bedrooms do you have? Are you able to let the oldest have one and you share with the youngest or having the living room, at least until emotions have quietened down.

This isn't just one thing that is causing the situation, I think you all may need some bereavement help too.

I have reached out to get help for them both with camhs but theyve said they don’t think they need it, I am doing bereavement therapy for the first time too but it isn’t really helping as it’s too distressing for me to think about right now with the situation in how my sister died, I have two bedrooms that are around 9ft by 8ft each and an open plan living kitchen that is tiny so there isn’t even really places to separate them as theyll shout through and can still hear each other, it’s just exhausting, we have all ended up sleeping on the couch at one point or another as I do try to put one in my room etc and have my eldest end up beside me half the time.
honestly thank you for taking the time to reply

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time.

It may not be CAMHS but are there any parenting groups you can go to? A group may be able to offer some useful advice to help manage your children at this difficult time and it's also a way of meeting up with other mums to support each other. Your GP or health visitor may be able to suggest one.

For what it's worth my DSis and I used to fight like cat and dog. Sometimes in public to my poor Mum's embarrassment! We get on fine now as adults.

I’m looking up groups in my area now thank you, I have done parenting classes and read a lot but I was in really bad physically abusive relationships with their dads too which the kids aren’t aware of so in those moments when they lash out at each other or me it really does effect me on another level and my head tends to go blank and I’m in fight or flight but I can’t do either with my children. Probably having other mums to talk to would help, just being on here and having a few messages has made me feel better so thank you