Worried my 11 month old is delayed and missing milestones

[ThatHappyEagle]

Hi

Hoping for some advice from parents that have been through something similar.

I have noticed that my 11.5 month old seems very delayed and not meeting milestones. Obviously this has sent me down a rabbit hole and I am now just so anxious and it’s impacting my day to day.

I think it is quite likely she is autistic but I am also concerned it could be something like a genetic problem. Of course she is so loved and always will be no matter what but I just feel devastated that life might be so much harder for her, and also that it might impact her older brother who loves her so much and really wants to play with her.

Things I have noticed that concerns me are:
-she barely responds to her name, when she does I think she’s just responding to the noise or coincidentally looking
-no pointing, no gesturing and no copying noises or actions (apart from sometimes copies us when we clap our hands, bang something on the high chair or squealing).
-not crawling or making any effort to move or pull to stand, or sitting up on her own
-not handing me things if I hold my hand out

Positives I have noticed
-sometimes engages very well with us, especially when we sing, health visitor felt there was nothing wrong with her eye contact
-sometimes looks at us when she finds something fun or funny
-smiles when she sees us and cries if I leave
-has started lifting her arms up when I say up
-has started to try to cuddle into me if sitting in front of me on the floor
-loves peekaboo and will laugh if we do silly things
-babbles baba, dada, nana, jaja, mamá, but I don’t think any specific words

I know the likely answer is that we will not have any answers for a while but I’m not the most patient person, especially if I’m concerned. From anyone’s experience, is it reassuring that she does seem to engage really well at times and babbles? Everything I read seems to suggest that it’s very concerning she doesn’t respond to her name, gesture or copy!

Im not convinced she has a hearing problem, at times it’s like she doesn’t hear us at all and other times she reacts to a small noise.

Thank you for taking the time to read to here!

Nothing you’ve said shouts ASD or a genetic condition to me @ThatHappyEagle?

Has she recently had her 12 month check and did the HV ask you to fill in the 12 month Ages & Stages before the appointment?

@ExplodingSmittens
Thank you for your response.

I keep reading that not responding to name and not imitating could be a key indicator of autism at 12 months and i think that’s what has me convinced because she doesn’t do either of those, and like I mentioned doesn’t seem to have any hearing problems.

I asked a health visitor to come out a couple of weeks ago because of my concerns but honestly she just made me more anxious. Kept asking me things as if she expected my baby to be doing them and then when I said she wasn’t she just said not to worry because she has good eye contact and that they’d be back in a few weeks for 12 month review. I have looked at the ages and stages questionnaire and the only one she gets into the grey is for fine motor.

Honestly I know that nobody will be able to tell me if she will catch up or not but right now I can’t seem to get myself out of the negative mindset that she won’t.

I think 11 months is such a spectrum. HV work to the 90% mark and sitting is a 9 month skills for the 90% mark so I’m very surprised your HV hasn’t flagged that. My 4 year old was also delayed and honestly I thought I wasn’t stressing about it that much but I now have a second baby who is smashing through milestones and it is just a different experience no matter how much you tell yourself ‘all in their own time’ etc. ultimately my son did have a neulogical disorder that we found out through genetic testing just before he was 2 and that was partly through HV referrals so keep on at your HV but also don’t be afraid to go to your gp and ask for a peads referral (he also had some other medical issues with his testicles and his eyes that also helped him get pushed through for testing).
I would try and stay clear of the ASD mindset though. I’m sure lots of SEN parents did see signs in babyhood but it’s just been proven you cannot tell at this age and it’s nothing you can get tangible outputs from just now

When you say that the only section that the only section that she gets into the grey for on the Ages & Stages is the Fine Motor, do you mean that she’s in the white for the other areas or in the black?

@Meand2Ls thank you! Sorry she does sit on her own, I think I meant to say standing. You’re 100% right about it being a completely different experience when they’re hitting their milestones, my 4 year old just did everything that was expected without me even having to try and this time I feel like I’m working so hard and she’s still not getting things :(

@ExplodingSmittens she’s in the black for all the other sections

Sorry I mowed that she wasn’t sitting in your first post.

The Ages & Stages is really clear, if they are in the black for any area they need a
referral to a Paediatrician to find out why. The HV should not be adopting a “wait and see” approach to any child who scores in the black for one area, never mind several.

Can you get a GP’s appointment today?

I would complete both of these and take them with you to the appointment:

12 month Ages & Stages

12 month Social & Emotional Ages & Stages.

The referrals that she will need are Paediatrician to see why she is in the black in multiple areas, Physio to help her with sitting, hearing test to rule out Glue Ear, SaLT, Portage and an OT assessment. I would ask the GP for all of those.

If you can’t get into the GP then phone the HV and say you’re not happy with waiting as she is scoring black on more than one area and you want those referrals now.

The waiting lists can be exceptionally long in some areas. Having the HV come back in a few weeks will only add to the time you have to wait for your DD to be seen.

And do come on over to the SN Parents Section. You’ll get some supportive MNers who will understand how you’re feeling and give you advice on things like applying for an EHC Needs Assessment DLA and Carer’s Allowance

@ExplodingSmittens I have been in contact with the health visitor who has now referred to paediatrician. Could be a long wait to be seen though 😣

Glad you have the referral to the Paediatrician. Did she make any other referrals?