23 month old with speech delay - also struggling with where is questions and understanding yes/no

[mommalow]

So a bit of a background - we recently adopted a little girl who is 23 months old and who moved in with us at 20 months. She came from a stable foster home that she’d been in since birth, and there have been no concerns over bio mum using drugs/alchocol during pregnancy.

We noticed when we first met her that she had an obvious speech delay which we voiced concerns about, as she was only saying about 3 words at 19 months old and they were all half words, such as “goh” for gone and “gog” for dog. We also expressed concerns that she wasn’t shaking her head for no or nodding for yes which we felt at that age she should be doing We were basically just told “she’ll get there”. Fast forward 4 months and my concerns have only grown. She has settled in so well, eats great and sleeps great and has zero signs of regression or discomfort in our care, but the longer she’s with us the more concerns I have around her development. She still doesn’t understand yes or no questions at all and only shakes or nods if she’s mimicking you. We’ve also noticed she can’t understand where is questions (for example where is your nose or where is the cat). And in the past week she has started constantly hitting herself in the face out of nowhere - not out of frustration, just randomly for no reason?

In terms of speech she now has about 25 words, but again they are all still half words without a single one being clear and they don’t appear to be getting that way. She has also started to use two specific sounds for words she doesn’t know (she points to leaves/flowers or closes a door or a lid and says BAH and she calls her blanket, water, keys, and food all NANA). She hasn’t had a new word in over 6 weeks as well.

We were concerned about nonverbal ASD with her when we first met her but it’s important to note that she is incredibly social and plays well with other kids, will eat anything and everything you give her, follows instructions well (tidy up please or go get your shoes etc), responds to her name, pretend plays (not loads but a bit) and has absolutely no sensitivity to light or loud sound (she was dancing in the middle of a disco tent at our local fair!).

Im at my wits end with worry and constantly get fobbed off or told “she’ll get there” in a condensing way. I’ve spoken to my HV who is coming on Thursday to assess but basically looking to hear if anyone else had a kiddo that was similar and maybe just needed more time? Or if they had similar characteristics and found out a good path for referrals to focus on? I’m one worried momma and only making myself spiral more 😩

Hello!
I would like to reassure you about the yes no questions. When my LO was around 22 months i was freaking out because he was not answering yes no questions despite beeing extremely verbal. I contacted a speach therapist (a friend of mine) and she told me that while it is true that many 22/23 months old do answer yes/no questions others also don't and that it is not a worrisome sign. She told be that at that age it is more important that they can choose between two objects when asked (if they have words for the object) and follow instructions well (which you told in your post your LO is doing).
Btw my LO started to answer yes/no questions around 23 months after some little games we played where I was asking him questions like (is this a car? Showing him either a car or another object). He had fun with this game and after some weeks the yes/no concept just clicked.