I have lied to the Health Visitor & not for the first time.

[sleepdeprivationandme]

My health visitor asks how things are, i say, oh fine thanks. What I really mean is this:

My ds 1, 2.5, and is sleeping on the floor and has done on just about every night since the arrival of Ds 2, 3 months ago. He has an ear infection and has just finished his antibiotic. still not well,or eating. I have made him a bed on the floor, right in the bedroom doorway where he sleeps now. I may be making the problem worse by putting a bed on the floor, but he wont get well easily if he is sleeping on cold floor.

I do intend to move the makeshift bed once he is well, but I am aware I am encouraging a terrible habit.

I have also bought snuggly jamas with feet in so he isnt too cold.

Have also previously tried leaving him on the floor, thinking if he is cold & uncomfortable he will get back into bed, but he doesnt and is up through the night and rises very early - therefore shattered and grumpy parents and children. We have also previously kept putting him back into bed but every one was exausted up and down all night.

Can anyone help?

Why don't you tell your health visitor?

Can you carry him back into bed once he is asleep on the floor?

Poor thing, he is ill and had also had the upheaval of a new baby in the family.
I would live with whatever he needs to sleep through at the moment and slowly sort it out once he is better.

wow, that was quick - thanks. we have kept carrying him back, but he gets up again very quickly ( anything from 2 mins to half an hour), and lays in the doorway again. I find myself laying awake feeling bad because I am warm in the bed and comfy but he isnt - what can you do though.

I'm with Crocky. People need all sorts of things to make them feel a bit in control of their lives and happy, and if a new baby has arrived, and ds1 wants to sleep on the floor, it's not the end of the world. IMO it wouldn't be a disaster if he wanted to sleep there for the next 18 years, but then we are quite relaxed about sleeping arrangements. It's getting enough sleep that matters to me!

Why do you feel the need to fib to your HV she is there to help you. It's up to you what you do with you children but if she knows that you're finding it difficult then she might be able to offer some advice.

Do you put his matress on the floor, that will keep him comfortable. I'm also in the 'I don't care where they sleep as long as they sleep' camp

dont beat yourself up. i would let him
sleep on the floor ntil you feel strong enough to change things

Let him sleep where he wants to. I'd try to make him more comfortable, though, and put down a mattress or one of those blow-up beds.

Can you buy some sort of small blow up bed or even a put me up bed or something so he can sleep in that instead of the floor?

I would other than the matress business leave him to sleep there if that is where he wants to be, he may be feeling upset with the arrival of his new sibling, is his sibling in with you?

or just keep putting him into bed, you will do it in your sleep in the end, until he gets the message?

I will take your sound advice - dooley, I have left a message for the health visitor to ring me. I think that you are right Lucy elastic - not beating myself up about it would be a start!

Why do you think he wants to sleep in the doorway? Is it so he can be nearer to you? Can he see/hear you from there (is it your doorway or his? Not sure.)? At 2.5 he may be able to tell you - have you sat him down and chatted about it?

Personally I would go down the route of repeatedly putting him back in his bed and reassuring him. Can you make his bed more exciting - choose something new for it with him, leaving DS2 at home when you do it and make time for just him.

If its because he wants to be with you, because of new baby, when you feel less tired perhaps try sitting in his room on the floor next to his bed, quietly so he gets attention or put mattress down and night by night move further back into room and then back onto bed. Health visitors are confidential and there to help with probs. This is solvable, don't stress or blame self! Part of rollercoaster ride of being a mum! Good luck

we have tried to talk to him with no avail and his verbal skills are very good, but I am not sure if he knows himself why he does it.

His room is next to ours, so he may feel closer to us but the babies cot is in our room directly at the other side of the wall from his room (-eh? does that make any sense at all.)

Things did buck up for a very brief period after the introduction of a bob the builder blanket, and he does have a number of teddies on his bed.

He went up last night with inflatable pilchard who also enjoyed a nice bath first too. I dont know what else I could put in there but I will stop at nothing. I would put an inflatable Abi Titmus in there if it meant he stayed in his bed! Or is that abuse ? not sure, its a fine line these days!

Like the amazing moving mattress idea though

Sounds like he feels left out at night time and just wants to be included by sleeping in your doorway. If I were you I'd make him warm and comfortable and let him sleep there. He's had a huge change in his life and this is his way of dealing with it. I can totally understand why you didn't tell your HV. Mine is awful and would say all kinds of things about needing to be strict and "who's in charge here" blah blah blah.

Mine have all had regular periods of sleeping in odd places. DS3 spent months sleeping on the landing for reasons known only to himself. I'm in the camp of if they'll go to sleep I don't care where.

I get not telling the HV though

the moving mattress may work - let him go to sleep on it near the door and then drag it into the room.

A similar thing happened with us - ds always wanted the door open to go to sleep, I always shut it when I went to bed because I did not want him being woken up when others got up in the night in or in the morning. Turned out that DS was cooking up exotic theories as to how the door shut itself every night (complicated gravity)! He even tied a piece of string to the door handle and held on to it so that he could feel when it did it .

I didn't have the heart to tell him I shut it

Don't see a problem. You are not encouraging a terrible habit - I really dislike any advice that goes along the lines of making a rod for your own back.

You are meeting ds1's needs and the needs of the family by letting him sleep in the hallway. He won't want to be there forever, but he wants to be there for now. Like you say, he may not understand the reasons why he wants to be there. Does it matter?

And tbh, if it is not a problem, why should you feel like you are hiding something shameful from the health visitor. I never tell the health visitor anything. The one time I mentioned sleep issues, she started hinting at sleep training.

If you want advice, tell her. If not, it is none of her business.

Hope things settle down for your family soon.

Evenhope - did you just leave them alone, or provide pillow etc?

My DS (9) went through a stage about a year ago of wanting to sleep on the floor. Just him, a pillow, and a duvet on the floor next to his bed. He couldn't give a reason for this (ie bed uncomfortable, back hurt etc) he just wanted to.
There are enough battles with kids without making unecessary ones. DS wasn't coming to any harm from sleeping on the floor, nor was he doing any harm. So on the floor he slept. It only lasted a few weeks.

Ds1 and ds2 both went through phases of doing this. Quite random. We just put extra blankets on top of them if we thought they were cold. Our floors are freezing but they would sleep through and appear well rested the next day. Not a battle worth fighting I would have thought - just let him do it.

Right - I can see now that it is not the world end. I am thinking along the lines of a blow up kiddy camp bed now. I must say, feel better others have had this.