Nappy tantrums and clothing fights with my 9m ds 'Twisty the Squirmyboy'... any advice?

[thomsc]

I had no idea he would be sooo strong. Or so determined.

He hates having his nappy changed, or rather, being on his back whilst it happens. As soon as I put him near the changing mat he arches his back (i've learnt to cradle his head to stop him smacking it on the table) and then he twists and struggles until he eventually crawls or stands up. It is possible to change his nappy standing, but not easy or fun.

The same happens when DW tackles the hideous task (I'm PrimeCarer). It is horrible and frustrating.

But then sometimes he's the angel he was a month ago.

I've done distraction (with some success), I've done pinning him down (less successful). Any ideas? Is it really a phase?

Other threads on this topic seem to be dealing with older kids, so I hope this 'phase won't last until he's 2...

Oh, he also hates putting on clothes.

Sorry to worry you but Ds2 has been like that for about 8mths and is 15mths now.
I can find him a toy to hold and he is OK for a while. He also poos about 6 times a day which can get very messy!

My ds who is 10 months has been like it for about 2 months now.

I've given up and converted to pull ups

I find that it is the subtle non verbal things that help in these situations. Do you feel you are in a pattern where you now expect him to be difficult and so he is?

You could try throwing in an element of surprise and then while the going is good, switch on your most businesslike attitude and do the job allowing for no fussing, wriggling or escaping. to do this you need to work fast, give him warning without time to think about it too much. Talk to him, keep eye contact be firm but positive and reward afterwards.

If he does still carry on being awkward and resisting your attempts to change him, continue although difficult and try not to show how tough he is making it for you. Do not plead, do not pause hoping he'll settle, just get on with it. No reward for a nappy change that is hard for you.

ah... rewards. such as?

Sadly, he's as skinny as me and way too small for pull-ups.

thomsc -My ds, now 14 mo, has been like this for a few months now - squirming like an eel whilst I battle to change his nappy. Why is it always the poo-filled ones that result in the worst wriggling?!
I try distracting him with toys, silly songs etc. It doesn't work all of the time, but I try to praise him for behaving well when it does. I think it is starting to have some effect as he's not like that at every nappy change now.
If you're worried about him getting hurt on the changing table, why not try the mat on the floor? Shame about pull ups (great idea Nbg).
As for hating getting dressed, my ds was the same. We played peek-a-boo when dressing to distract him and he's much better now. When he was really grumpy tho, we used to put the Disney channel on , so he didn't even notice getting dressed!
Hopefully, it's all just a phase.

I'm going to make some tshirts that say "it's just a phase..."

Ds was like this when he was changed on a mat on a floor. We now have a cot top changer and he is more co-operative, although not always. Before then, I used to put him over my knee, face-down, and "clamp" him with my left arm whilst changing his nappy with my right. He used to struggle, but couldn't get away! After a while he got used to it and, if I do it now, he doesn't struggle. Sounds harsh, but needs must...

With putting on clothes, I also tend to hold him still, standing up between my knees, but if he's being really difficult, it takes two of us... Such an effort first thing in the morning before work...

ds2 is 9 months and just the same but has been since he was about 4 months old !

He hates getting dressed too, it's a nightmare and it just makes me appreciate how compliant ds1 was, gave him a toy or book to distract him and anppychanging was easy but it just doesn't work for ds2.

Sorry, no suggestions - will be in same situation soon as currently have maggot-girl of six months. Trouble is, i find it funny! Trying to put on her nappy while she is trying to simultaneously roll over and grab the telly remote 2 metres away is not too much of a struggle...yet.

my ds is 10 mo and the same...sorry!

Yes I think they all go through this - mine is now 21 months and for pretty much a year it has been impossible to change a nappy unless there is something in his hands. It always used to be a tiny book that he could flick through or else something small that made a noise eg a little phone. Later on I would play "boo" by peeking over whatever toy it was. As long as it's something engrossing, anything will do.

I think there was a stage where I really did have to clamp him down... but it does get better.

Another one who started being a PITA at that age - 12 months now and we still struggle but we have strategies! Wet nappies are changed standing which causes no probs at all. Dirty ones it's a combination of distraction (some things like keys, his shoes, something he's not allowed to normally play with), singing and getting everything ready in advance so it's quick, also using a changing table as he wriggles less than on the floor. Lots of praise when he does it without fuss. On a positive note, DS also used to scream blue murder over clothes but he seems to have given in on this and now lets me dress him whilst he holds his toothbrush and I dress him sitting/standing, not lying down.

DS is exactly the same (nearly 9 months). Toothbrish a v good plan - I clean his teeth before the morning nappy change anyway as impossible to do it at any other time and he loves holduing the toothbrish and knawing it (strange boy) and at those times he doesn't wriggle. Off to buy a spare brush for nappy changing...

Only read the OP - have you tried singing to him? My DS2 (13months) can be a real squirmer, but if I start singing one of his favourite songs to him it calms him down .....

Rewards such as a big squidgy cuddle - just a few moments of full on attention; a sing song, a story..

This will be disapproved of by many I'm sure but it worked for us! DD started crawling before 6 mo and nappy changing became a nightmare. In desperation I started changing her on the floor in front of a video (Baby Einstein etc). It worked like a charm - she soon realised they went together and oddly enough became better away from home too - I think she just got used to lying quietly for her nappy. I did worry that this would go on for so long and then what about potty training!!!? But she's nearly 2 now and although I still put it on sometimes, especially if she' a bit grotty already, she doesn't need it any more.

By 12 mo she was begging for nappy changes! Jill

same here! my ds is 9mths and cant bear to be on his back, he's learning to walk so wants to be on his feet constantly. its recently got a bit better tho cos he knows what "legs straight" means, and enjoys co-operating for a bit.
we use prefolds and wraps, so its even more burdensome than disposables. not that i'd advocate disposables! but we too do the standing up changes, esp cos then his hands are occupied. for dressing, i just accept it won't ever happen on his back. i play "wheres my boy gone?!" when i pull the top over his head, and "where have the toes gone?" with bottoms. it takes a while cos i have to pause for breath, sit back, sip my tea, let him play etc.

A torch! A little maglite keyring one...

Well it's working this week. Oh, and a book he likes destroying. (anyone need any confidential documents shredded? DS can guarantee total destruction).

Thanks for all the advice. Good to know it's not just me being a bad dad! Phew.

Our lad (8 months) has just started up with this. It's like trying to put a nappy on an eel . We use books with sound chips, deoderant bottles, remote controls (they don't actually operate him, he just seems to love to chew the TV one) usually work for just long enough to put the nappy on shoddily then can readjust standing up.