3yo...Attitude of a 15yo!!!

[Melbabes6]

My DD is 3.5yo and is driving me nuts!! She doesn't listen, constantly back chats and is full of attitude!

My biggest issue at the mo is the fact she doesn't listen and every morning is a battle to get her dressed.

She goes to a School Nursery Class and I'm already feeling stressed about her starting back in September as she has to wear a uniform. I have no option to give her a choice of what to wear and I have to leave by a set time to get her into class.

Any tips on how to manage this before I go entirely crazy!?

You have no option but to give in to a 3.5yr old? Really?!
I think you just need some tips/advice and possibly change the way you are approaching the subject.

Use playtime to mirror real life...
‘We are dressing the dolls because it’s time for school’
‘ let’s brush the dolls teeth & put them to bed’

I have a ‘challenging’ child too, although she’s 10 now. We do have a mini power struggle most days on when/why she needs to do something. I Do believe if you have one of these children early On they will always be the same. But the issue just changes as they grow up.

When she was 3, she refused to get ready for nursery in the morning. The nursery teacher said to bring her in her pjs and pack her uniform to change into at school.
She soon saw all the other children were dressed in uniform and wanted to wear the same. I did let her choose skirt/trousers or pinafore in the mornings so she felt she was in control of something.

My son is the same. I get up extra early and basically he doesn’t get to come out of his room until he is dressed, he can’t go in the living room (we have baby gates up) until he has let me wash his face and brush his teeth and had a pee, and then he can’t get toys out until he has finished his breakfast. If he gets up from the table his food is taken away and he has to wait till snack time for food. If he want get dressed he gets told he’s going to nursery with no socks / shirt/whatever then. (Tbh this though distresses him so much we’ve never had to take it that far). If he doesn’t behave during the morning bathroom ritual he will be put back in his room ‘back to bed’ until he agrees to behave and get it done. If he doesn’t tidy his toys, they get taken away for a few days. If he won’t put his shoes and jacket on, he doesn’t get to go out wherever we are going. This last thing works particularly well because he was refusing to put his shoes on quickly and after twenty minutes of playing up I announced that he was not going to nursery and we didn’t. He was devastated but he was too young to realise it was a Saturday and when he agreed to get his shoes on fast, I said we could go to the supermarket “instead” - which he enjoys. Lol.

Be consistent with this and don’t make any threats that you can’t follow through on. And if your dc responds to all this by being naughty and not listening anyway I find it’s best to approach things in an upbeat and happy way, and laugh along when they are being silly. Because the minute things hit a sour note, his behaviour gets ridiculously bad, so I find it better to manipulate it into a game by laughing along and adding in things like “yes that’s a scary dinosaur noise - mr dinosaur can I brush your scary teeth! Ooh I’m scared!” It gets frustrating for me when we are running late and DS is having fun dawdling and singing silly words to a made up song but I find if I don’t let him get it out, or ignore him rather than joining in (and steering things into the way I want them) he is really naughty for the entire day. Which is why I get up early, though I imagine after a few months of this he won’t be so difficult anymore.

Ps my approach is called ‘logical consequences’ and well worth a google if you don’t know what to do.

I have found that despite ending up in some embarrassing situations, I’d rather be embarrassed once than tearing my hair out and crying each night for the rest of his life.

The worst that’s happened for me is carrying him kicking, screaming, biting and spitting, under one arm the length of a busy street in our small town where it’s guaranteed a good few people I know would have seen me. But he had been running away and hiding from me in shops, and I had told him if he wouldn’t walk nicely by my side I would carry him. So I carried him straight home . Btw , we didn’t live far away and I did attempt to stop and get him to agree to behave after a couple of minutes but it wasn’t happening so we had to continue home. It worked though, he walks nicely now if reminded of the incident!

I have just ordered the Toddler Taming book as my partner and I are at our wits end with our 3 nearly 4 year old. The attitude is that of a narcissitic maniac!!😁I have found I'm not coping as feel totally out of control. It is effecting my relationship with my partner. Our house is a battle zone and we are both stressed. She tantrums over everything, refuses to listen and complains she is bored even though we take her everywhere. She is hyperactive and has no off button. I know 3-4 year olds are hard but just lost as to when it will end. We love her dearly but at the moment we don't like her very much.... sad I know but never thought a 3 year old could behave so badly.... any tips welcomed 🤗👭