How do you teach 'active listening' to a 5 year old who doesn't get it?

[ShackUp]

DS1 is 5, in reception. To give some background, he got expected/exceeding in all EYFS areas apart from listening/social/emotional. His teacher commented that he doesn't look like he's listening but actually is. Full disclosure: he's had an EP to help him with 'meltdowns' over small things in school. EP says he's great and just needs a bit of emotional support, and has some sensory issues.

We have had endless conversations since he was 3ish about this: look at the teacher, sit still impossible, don't 'do other stuff' when the teacher is talking. It never goes in.

Today at swimming he was meant to move up a group, but didn't because he kept disappearing under water while teacher was talking.

Please help! I'm a teacher (secondary) and I don't know how to help him!

Sorry OP, I don’t know what an EP is.

Educational Psychologist

Bump

Ok so if he’s seen an Educational Pyschologist did they rule out ASD?

EPs can't diagnose ASD but she said she would be extremely surprised if he had ASD. I think his teachers think he might have traits, he does have sensory quirks.

We do expect a lot of 5 year olds and it is difficult for sone of them to sit still and listen, if he’s really struggling, could the teacher give him something to fiddle with, like a bit of string?

Have the school mentioned how he is when he’s on the playground? Are his friendships developing nicely?
Y

He has a best friend, School are keen for him to have a circle of friends. He gets on with the others but would prefer to connect with people who share his interests (I'm a bit like this too!). He's not lonely and he has plenty of play dates. It's a small village school so fewer children to mix with.

He's reading at KS2 level and exceeding in all the 'knowingabout the world' stuff (history, science etc I guess) so I think some of the fidgeting might be boredom (he gets into trouble for shouting out, I know it's annoying behaviour but he's desperate to answer questions).

I’m not sure how common fidgeting and shouting out are but the school and you seem concerned enough to have involved an EP. I think it might be worth seeing a Paeditrician and getting a second opinion.

I had one or two other threads about slightly different issues and everyone said ASD. In RL, everyone says no, it can't possibly be ASD, he has great social skills. But maybe he's just imitating me, or I'm 'teaching' him?

For me social skills would cover being able to sit and listen to the teacher and not having emotional outbursts or shouting out in class.

I'll go to the GP again and look to get a referral.