Unconfident child in swimming lessons -- questions if you've had one!

[lljkk]

Not sure whether to keep DD (age=5.5) in.

She made big progress at first, will now sometimes put her face under water. She loves her teacher. But after 7 lessons she won't move more than an inch from the wall. She walks slowly, doing arm circles and blowing bubbles. Will only take her feet off the bottom if she has a float aid in her hands. This is non-negotiable. The others in her class started equally new to lessons but have raced ahead in ability.

She's happy in water with a floatie suit on, but is otherwise afraid of losing control.

Should she keep going to lessons now, or should I leave it for a year?

Have you asked her if she would like to keep going?

How many are in the class and what does the teacher recommend?

Have just started my DS (also 5.5) and he seems quite nervous, but its early days.

My daughter was very nervous when she first started her lessons at about 3.6.
Slowly she gained in confidence at her own rate and now at 6 is a fantastice swimmer.
Unless she is getting upset I would try to stick at it, and go at her own pace.

You could be describing my dd. She will swim but us very unsure. She will not put her face in, her ears in and jump in. I have told her she must learn to swim. It is a life skill - I don;t think leaving it for a year will help her because we would not take her often enough to the pool on her own. I have told her when she learns she can give up.

i do sympathise! she sounds just like my dd1, who's the same age. after 2 terms with almost no progress, we gave up in the end. we may try 1;1 lessons soon. the group thing wasnt right for her as she was always anxious about the pace of the lesson/ what was asked of her.

All my children began as excessively nervous in the water - they would not put their faces in, or take their feet off the bottom. I persevered with lessons with all of them (ds1 started when in Reception, just 4; ds2 started aged 3; and dd started in Year One aged 5.6; ds3 (4) yet to start but I am tempted to take him soon (by myself) and see how he is). I would say with all of them, it took about 2 terms for any real progress to be made (longer for ds2 who started younger).

If you are like me, you will regard learning to swim as an important life skill and not want to stop the lsssons once they have begun. That said, if dd hates it, it might be better to stop the lessons and take her yourself for more informal water play. None of my children actually disliked going, just were scared of the water on their faces.

Keep going definitely, persevere, and she will get there in the end. Learning to swim is a funny process, and as much about psychology as physical issues. This is what happened to my dss:

Both taken regularly swimming with us from being tiny. DS2 had weekly lessons from age 4, ds1 from age 5.

DS2 could swim 5m when he was 3, but has made slow progress ever since.
DS1 refused to take his feet of the floor at all until he was 7yrs+3mnths (despite having weekly lessons for 2 yrs+ and having done several 'crash course' weeks of daily lessons.)

But to compare them at age 8 - i.e. just 9 months after ds1 first "learned to swim" ds1 was a stronger, more confident swimmer with better technique, more stamina, could swim further and faster, and was in a higher swimming class!

DS1 is now 9.5 and is a strong swimmer for his age, certainly well above average - despite his late start.

A friend of mine is a trained swimming teacher and lifeguard. She claims that the majority of children don't have the stamina, muscular tone etc needed to learn how to swim unaided before they reach the age of 6.

I help out taking my son's class swimming. The teachers who teach the schools are my own swimming teachers, and have also taught my children from little babies, so I know them well.

One of the girls (age 10 then) in son's class was absolutely petrified of the water. One of the teachers had taught her when she was much younger and was very unconfident then but had started to improve a little, but her parents probably expecting her to swim lengths after just a term, pulled her out of classes.

£ or 4 years later when she started going with the school she was far worse and had taken a huge step backwards.
I ended up volunteering going in the water with her to help and we did manage to get her in the deep end with me holding her head.

Most kids can swim from age 4, I am also a swimming instructor, mum of twins age 3 so have seen both ends, as one of my children DS1 could swim by the time he was 4. dts dd loves it and I imagine she'll be swimming by the time she is 4, but ds is absolutely petrified and clings on for dear life!!!can't see him being able to swim till at least 5. Each child is so different, but I wouldn't give up lessons, but they can't learn to swim with body suits on or armbands.

Take children yourself to play, go to a pool that has gradual steps or walk in water, and play with water toys in pool, is there a timid time session? or quiet time when you could play gently, blowing bubbles is a good start, splashing water, walking across and pulling the water with your hands, then woggles are the best to gain confidence then floats one under each arm.

Don't rush your child though, they are ready when they are ready, but don't give up!

Good luck! and if your not short of money, I'd invest in 1 to 1 lessons!

Sorry forgot to say, the younger you start the less frightened they are. Get into Aqua baby lessons or go at least once a week.

I havent had the time to take my 3yo twins very often, thats why my ds hates it, but I never force him and he just gets in when he wants to. Sometimes he'll spend the whole hour just playing on the steps with water toys, floating and sinking things!

my son aged 5 is the same, or was, a few lessons in and we have progressed to him being in the pool with floats on and splashing back and forth. He hates the fact eh can't touch the bottom, but we started slowly from him not wanting to get undressed one lesson, to him in his trunks on the side e of the pool the next lesson, splashing his feet the next lesson, getting in and out quickly the next lesson and so on. It was a long slow process and the swimming teacher was a bit of an arse saying 'leave him be, go and watch he'll be fine' but I knew better and stood my ground and it worked. He is getting better every lesson and his confidence is growing, the incentive of a treat from the sweet machine also works wonder! It is so hard, I had to bite my lip to stop myself from bursting into tears at the look of his little face clinging onto the side of the pool! Keep going, gently!

Thanks for feedback!

DD doesn't want lessons, but I'm afraid of her falling in a canal or similar.

DD has been taken almost weekly since a tiny tot, but was never keen. She'll stay in for ages with float-suit on, or walking in shallow water. But won't put face in or feet up. I don't think 1-to-1 lessons would work, I think we'll have to wait until she's "ready" in her own head.

Last lesson was a huge disaster. She suggested that if she had chocolate, it might make her brave enough to pull feet up. We negotiated, half a Mars Bar before, and the other half afterwards if she could pull her feet up 5 times.

3 minutes into lesson, she pulled feet up, swallowed water, spent rest of lesson in hysteriCs. SIGH. TeaCher says DD will progress, not even the worst she's seen.

Is it so mean of me to not want to waste money on lessons if DD's progress at this age is likely to be glaCial, though....?

Honestly, she does sound like my dd. She would do absolutely nothing for months either and the teacher did ask me if I would like to stop bringing her to lessons (which made me realise how bad she must be!) but the alternative was that I went into the pool with her myself and that was not possible as I have 3 other children. So we just stuck with it and eventually it came. She has been having lessons a year and a half now and can swim about 10 metres if severely pushed (more usually though, about 3 metres).

One thing that helped with her and ds2 when they were at the stage of being terrified of getting their faces wet was practicing in the bath at home. You can keep the water very shallow and get theme to lie back in it (getting ears wet) and then pouring water on their heads (get her to do it to herself, using an old bubble bath bottle or equivalent) and finally putting her face in the water. Keep it all calm and fun and keep her in control of the situation. It worked for mine in the end.

Also, has she got goggles? Even though dd tells me hers leak the whole time, she still believes that they help her to put her face under the water and keep the water out of her eyes!

I'm a bit [hmmm] about the younger they are thing..... both mine were 4 months when they went to aqua babes and both were the only kids who absolutely screamed when they were dunked. I felt completely cruel. Surely it can't be the same for all kids.
To the op, persevere with the lessons and try and take her for fun swimming yourself as often as you can.

I didn't learn to swim until I was 9 (we were taken for lessons with school). I was really scared of going in water I couldn't stand up in, I wouldn't jump in or anything like that. Luckily one of the instructors noticed how scared I was and took me for some one to one lessons, just taking it really slowly, gradually getting me used to going in deeper water. I think it's a good idea to stick at it, but maybe try to tackle any fears one to one first? I wouldn't put too much pressure on her.