if your (older) baby only slept on you, when did things improve?

[Schwanengesang]

DS is one in a couple of weeks. He has been a terrible sleeper since he was about 2 months, due to CMPA and silent reflux. He can only really sleep on me or DH, propped up to lessen the reflux, and generally only sleeps about 20 minutes at a time, rarely an hour. He has slept more than an hour only a handful of times in his life.

We have repeatedly tried swaddling, burping, offering dummies (never worked), all the gentle/gradual retreat type sleep training (none worked), been rigid about routine and sleep hygiene (tiredness seems to matter more), etc.

The best we can do is that I go to bed with him, DH holds him while I eat dinner, I hold him the rest of the night. I get almost no sleep as he wriggles a lot, and cluster feeds most of the night because of the reflux. Omeprazole means he isn't in pain but he cluster feeds because of discomfort (and habit, but see above re sleep training not working).

Anyone else had this?

Did it ever get better?

That sounds really tough. Have you already seen a specialist about the reflux and cmpa? If not in your shoes I’d be asking for a referral as sleep would seem unlikely to improve while physically he’s uncomfortable and no behavioural strategy will work until the physical issues are dealt with. Also have you tried raising one end of a cot so he could sleep on a slope?

Thanks; yes already in the system re CMPA and sleep, but they can't offer any actual help. Cot mattress tilted but not far enough - far enough being dangerous re airway closure...

I think we really just need support. But short of paying someone to get to know DS well enough to babysit him, there is none.

You’ve just described (nearly exactly) my DS1. Only slept on me or at best next to me. He also had terrible reflux and at best would sleep next to me but still propped up with an arm around him. Around 15-16 months I was able to start sneaking away for an hour or so in the evening. It got better from there and at about 2yr3months I moved him to his own single bed as I was expecting our second DS. He’s slept there ever since. Still has reflux though and still wants me to go in and settle him if he wakes up. I bf until he was 2 and did the night weaning last (it was the hardest part for us but I just couldn’t cope with being pregnant and bf). He put up some resistance and still wakes up but it’s so much better than it was. Hang in there it’ll get better very soon!

My DS 8 months has CMPA & reflux, medicated with omperazole. He slept on me or DH for the first 3 months until I could take no more

He was unable to settle on his back at ALL so I put him on his front & used the shush pat method. There is some crying involved but they're not left alone. It worked (to a certain extent) he can now self settle on his front- if he rolls into his back he doesn't associate it with going to sleep!

DS still wakes frequently during the night & naps rubbish. Consultant believes that his reflux is controlled & the frequent waking is habitual/behavioural, which I agree with.

How does your DS eat? Do you think he's eating enough? My DS has taken to food with a gusto (common in reflux baby apparently as they quickly learn that feeding causes no pain). I feed my DS porridge before bed to make sure he's got a nice full tummy!

My daughter use this and it did help quite a bit