Asynchronous development or autism?? I just want him to stop biting the crap out of me!!!!

[JoRichardson35]

Hi all,
My 23 month old BB has some issues. He's highly sensitive and hasn't said a single word. Nothing. Nada. No mum or dad or anything. He can't handle interaction with people or other children and often closes his eyes or covers his ears or hides when we are in a group. Alternatively he goes into Fight mode and attacks me like a feral ferret - biting my face & head, clawing at my face and throat and hitting me until I remove him from the situation to a quiet area where it doesn't take long to calm him down.
He used to enjoy playing with his grandparents, and now he can't have them even look at him. When they try to interact with him, I get attacked yet again.
However, he is crazy smart - his problem solving and puzzle solving is out of this world.
With me, when we are on our own - he interacts with me, he gestures for communication, he comes for cuddles. He just won't acknowledge anyone else, unless they are the primary caregiver.

I have been doing loads and loads of research and have come up with the following;
OE (over excitability - aka high sensitivity)
Asynchronous Development
Autism

The health visitor and speech therapist assistants think it is autism or a development disorder.
I'm leaning more towards the asynchronous development and OE.

I'm desperately looking for other parents and kids who are going through this to try and get some interaction with like minded kids for Peter and mutual support with parents.

I'm in Southend in Essex, does anyone know of any suitable group or any mums who want to meet up and try to get our kids to interact with like minded others?

Feel like I'm stumbling through the dark with this most of the time

Hi so sorry you're struggling this must be really hard. I don't have personal experience but have just read an excellent book called George and Sam by Charlotte Moore which I highly recommend. Charlotte has three sons, two of whom are autistic and whilst I'm not suggesting a diagnosis for your son, I think there would be some parallels. For example Charlotte says that if she had to do it all again she would push for an early diagnosis in order to start therapies as soon as possible.
It's a very easy to read book. I hope someone will be along soon with some practical advice for you. Hugs for you.

Hi Jo, sorry I don't know myself but would suggest you press "report" (top right corner of your post) and ask MNHQ to move it to SN chat or SN Children as you will probably get more replies?

To be honest it probably doesn't make such a big difference exactly which diagnosis he gets as you will probably find you are using very similar approaches and therapies anyway. Children with autism diagnoses vary a lot and many have sensory and over/under sensitivity issues; many also have very uneven development with small islands of advanced development while other areas lag far behind. Diagnoses can change as children grow and develop. I would even go for the general autism angle just because it is covers a very broad range of abilities and problems and because there is more support for autism-spectrum conditions than if you get a more specific but more limited diagnosis which may change anyway in a few years time.

The most practical advice I was given for my DS was this: "If he usually copes in a situation then keep him in it so he can learn from his success. If he never copes then either change the situation so he can cope or else take him out of it altogether." Can your DS cope with social situations where there is just one other (quiet) person, or does that person have to be you? It sounds as if the biting is a stress response so for the time being I would avoid putting him in social situations until you have a clearer idea of what's specifically upsetting him - is it noise so he needs ear defenders, is it faces, is it fear of being touched, is it inability to communicate or understand? When you know you may be able to make it easier for him. He may also cope better when he is older and social situations are more predictable, or perhaps when he's had more therapy to help him communicate.

And you could try contacting the National Autistic Society to see if there are any support groups in your area.

Sorry but it doesnt sound like asynchronous development to me, because the behaviours he exhibits are abnormal rather than younger.

Dont be scared of autism, kids come on so much as they grow up and if it is that youve caught it early enough to provide great intervention

Sorry..dont like word abnormal. Not typical maybe

PS I think you have put your DS's name in your posting. You can report your own post and ask for his name to be removed.