Help! My daughter (2) has turned in to a monster!

[user1472662923]

Hi everyone,

My dd was born prematurely at 29 weeks and spent 2 months in special care. Since the age of one she's been attached to her dad and the attachment has gradually intensified. She is now 2 and 2 months and majorly attached to dh, to the point of where she kicks and screams, arches her back etc if I try to do anything for her when dh is around. Over the last 2 months however it's intensified even more and she is having massive tantrums every night and at least a couple of times during the day when I/we have her. She goes to nursery 2 days a week and is apparently really good. I've noticed that her tantrums are worst when dh and I are with her together and she has started smacking herself in the face and biting the back of her hand (though not particularly aggressively) when she tantrums. She throws herself on the floor and screeches and screeches until she's almost sick. She moans and whimpers every 2 mins when she's not tantrumming and it's sending me doolally. She loses it over the smallest of things too, such as if she drops something. It makes me laugh when people say 'oh I remember this one time taking my lo to the supermarket and they threw themself on the floor and I had to carry them out under my arm'. Really? Well, my dd does that nearly every time we go somewhere! 😠 These tantrums are happening on a daily basis. Is this all normal guys or could there be something else? I have her 2 days a week but am considering putting her in nursery f/t. I wanted to watch her grow up but the way I feel at the moment... I can't stand to be around her. I know that probably makes me an awful person. I've tried speaking to her calmly and at eye level but it just doesn't seem to work. Any advice would be appreciated please. It's probably worth mentioning that she is in the process of transitioning to the next room in nursery. She's quite big now compared to the other toddlers in the room she is in currently and all her friends have moved up. They were just waiting for her speech to develop a bit more before moving her. She has a good vocab and can point to pics and say words, she just isn't saying many sentences. I wondered if any of this had anything to do with how she's being? Or do you think she could have some kind of disorder? Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post x

You say she was born at 29 weeks, how was the birth user? If it was traumatic have you been told about Birth Trauma Association? If you did suffer Birth Trauma, I'd really recommend speaking to them before you make any decisions over DD's care.

Next, I'd speak to your HV. Insist she sees her and ask for a hearing check and a referral to Speech & Language Therapy. Also ask her to asses your DD and see what she thinks. It might also be worth using a few signs with her. Do the nursery use signs with the children at all?

What happens at the moment when you are with her and she tantrums?

Hi

So I came on to mumsnet this morning to look up behaviour issues too! My nearly 2.5 year old is a terror at the moment. And generally only with me.

He bites, pinches, kicks, slaps, Raspberry spitting all the time. I talk calmly to him, go to eye level, tried naughty seat or similar and nothing works. Husband says he never has these issues when it's just them 2 on their own, only when I come into the room.

I only work Thurs Fri and sat so I have him by myswlf Mon to Wed and these past weeks, I could not have wished for Thursday to come quick enough.

My mum has him on Thurs and Fri and has some issues but not to the degree I have.

He has also started biting the back of his hand when having tantrums etc too.

My mum has worked in child care her entire life and says most of it is normal. Anyone I speak to says it's just a phase.

Not much advice I'm afraid but trust me you're not alone!

I have HV at the end of the moment so I am going to chat with them too.

I guess for you, try and see if there is anything to help the attachment issues, and hopefully behaviour will fall into place!

Again sorry not much, just remember you're not alone!
Xx