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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Now I know why sleep deprivation is a form of torture!!!!

20 replies

Hasanyoneseenmysanity · 15/12/2016 01:58

I have 3 DC aged 6, 4 and 20 mo. My oldest two sleep perfectly, they always have apart from the odd time. My youngest however is an absolute nightmare!!!

For the last 2 weeks he has been going to bed at 7pm and waking at around 12/1AM every single night. I have tried everything to get him back to sleep but he just ends up screaming the entire house down to get up. Most mornings I end up giving in and getting up with him around 4AM.

He still naps for two hours during the day usually 10-12 or 11-1 and won't nap anymore than that. He is visibly tired but just will not sleep!!!!

It is getting to the point where it is putting a huge strain on mine and DP's relationship and we are arguing about silly things and just generally being grumpy with each other. I am SAHM at the moment and DP works shifts. He often gets up with the youngest in the night/early mornings and does more than his fair share. We support each other as much as possible but we are just at the end of our ropes because we are both just purely exhausted from it.

I'm currently up now with the child who never sleeps and he is bombing around downstairs with his bloody ride on zebra in the dark!!!

The problem we have is he screams so loud to get up that he's waking up the other two children and the only way to stop it is to get up. We have tried controlled crying and cry it out but he will literally just scream continuously until we go in and get him up. At the end of our rope we tried putting him in our bed but he just sees this as one big game and jumps around or climbs in and out of the bed.

I really do not know what the hell to do with him anymore. I am seriously thinking about taking a trip to the GP with him. Sorry for ranting on, any advice would be much appreciated.

OP posts:

Littlelegs19 · 15/12/2016 02:05

No advice I'm afraid as my DS is only 3 weeks old but didn't want to read and run. I've been up since 12:45 and there's no end in sight yet! I feel for you, sleep exhaustion is the worse! :(

Original poster

Hasanyoneseenmysanity · 15/12/2016 02:08

Oh bless you :(! It's horrendous isn't it? I hope you get some sleep soon!

OP posts:

Bigfam · 15/12/2016 02:25

I feel your pain. I'm sat here rocking my 12 day old who's been awake since 1.00am, dreading (and knowing) my nearly 2yo will be awake at 5am, her waking words will be minnie-moouuusssee which I'll then have to watch for hours before the older 3 wake for school 😌
He may be a bit old, but have you tried white noise? Hope his zebra zooming tires him out and you get some 😴

oldlaundbooth · 15/12/2016 02:45

Have you tried cutting the nap out?

BananaPie · 15/12/2016 02:49

I wouldn't bring him downstairs and let him play as it's not reinforcing the message that nighttime is for sleeping.

DuggeeSchmuggee · 15/12/2016 03:03

This sounds like my DS when he hit 22 months. He went from sleeping well to waking in the night and just NOT going back to sleep. He has always been a terrible co-sleeper (he thinks our bed is a trampoline). In the end I took a gamble, took the side off his cot and popped a mattress on his floor for myself. For a few nights he just got really excited and crawled all over my face, but then started to sleep on the floor with me. After a while I managed to get him to sleep back in his bed.
It took ages (about 4 months ), but a year on he is now a perfect sleeper (I can hear him snoring his head off while I night feed my LO).

Joinourclub · 15/12/2016 03:13

It's so hard isn't it? I'm up for the 5th time tonight. I'm so tired I just hallucinated that the laundry bin was my husband crouched in the corner, gave me quite a fright!

Marmitepasta · 15/12/2016 03:40

Haaaa thank you join our club, you have really made me laugh with laundry basket comment!!! I needed that as am going insane trying to get my ds to go back to sleep (woke 3 hours ago)

It's just awful, isn't it. Sympathies to all in the same boat

lightcola · 15/12/2016 03:48

Easier said than done I know, especially as you have 2 other ones to think about but I also think taking him downstairs to play when he wakes isn't a good idea.

Bigfam · 15/12/2016 03:50

Oh my God joinourclub that would have scared me silly!!!
Baby has woken again after finally being put down at 2.45, not bad, nearly an hour
It's ds' 7th birthday today and looking like I'll be a sleep deprived mess for most of it..

ChishandFips33 · 15/12/2016 06:38

Is it possible he needs a little more for supper in case he's waking hungry.

Or could he be waking himself up because he's bumping himself on the sides of the cot - the mattress on the floor sounds like a good idea

Could you set an alarm and go in his room half an hour early than his typical wake up time and put some white noise on or soothe him back over before he fully wakes?

So tricky when you've got other DC to consider, but I wonder if the play has reinforced the wrong message and 'trained' him into waking up.
The Christmas break off school might be a good time to try not taking him downstairs - at least the other children can catch up through the day if he wakes them

Hope it passes soon

Original poster

Hasanyoneseenmysanity · 15/12/2016 07:51

Thank you for all the replies! He fell asleep at 4 and was up at 6 for the day! I feel for you all not getting any sleep, it's awful! The laundry basket did make me laugh though!

I definitely 100% agree that bringing him downstairs is not the right thing to do, we just get so exasperated and desperate that we end up giving in to him. It's mainly because of the other two and not wanting to be waking them up when they have school. Will definitely be making the most of the xmas holidays and using the time to make sure we keep him in his room!

The mattress on the floor idea is great, that's definitely something I shall be trying tonight! I can cope with him wandering around over my face for a few nights if it means we get him back into a decent sleeping routine!

He does still have a bottle of milk before bed and a small snack so I don't think he's hungry. Usually if he's hungry he will ask for something to eat or ask for his milk but I will definitely look into this being a possibility too!

I can cope with early mornings, 6AM is like a sleep in for me since I had kids, it's purely the being up all night which is a killer!

Thank you again for all the great advice. I think I've just lost all ability to think rationally lol.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hasanyoneseenmysanity · 15/12/2016 07:55

Also sorry forgot to add in my sleep deprived state that we have tried to stop his naps but he literally just flakes out on the floor/sofa/pushchair/wherever he is at the time and waking him up just makes him awful grumpy!

OP posts:

LeopardPrintSocks1 · 15/12/2016 07:55

I'm in the same boat. Dd 11 months woke at 2am and wouldn't go back to sleep until 4am but was up multiple times in between too. I want to die after 2 weeks of this.

SoniaShoe · 15/12/2016 07:59

Could he be waking up because he's cold? It is usually coldest that time of night

Original poster

Hasanyoneseenmysanity · 15/12/2016 08:21

LeopardPrintSocks1 sorry to hear you're suffering too, I hope it improves soon!

SoniaShoe I wondered that and not long ago I put the winter covers on all the kids beds. He also sleeps in a grobag. TBH he doesn't seem cold.

OP posts:

HumpHumpWhale · 15/12/2016 08:25

2 year molars? Try ibuprofen before bed maybe?
I so sympathise, DD is 6 months and I'm just so exhausted.

Original poster

Hasanyoneseenmysanity · 15/12/2016 09:42

HumpHumpWhale I thought about teething and have tried with ibuprofen when he wakes but it doesn't seem to make a difference so have stopped giving it. Usually when he's teething he gets very grumpy but he's perfectly happy once I go into the room. I feel your pain, it's awful. I think it's harder too when there's not actually anything really wrong per se. We are just at a complete loss with him but will definitely be trying the suggestions mentioned in this thread. I am willing to do virtually anything within reason lol to get him to sleep better!

OP posts:

jessplussomeonenew · 15/12/2016 20:33

Apparently it used to be normal (before electric lighting) for people to have two periods of sleeps at night - being awake for about 2 hours between two 4 hour stretches. Apparently this is a more natural routine for human beings and can be why babies fall into this.

I wonder if it might work to go with the rhythm a bit - my thinking is that he's getting so stressed about not being able to get up/excited when allowed to play that he wakes up properly and so wakes up more fully and then can't get back to sleep again for longer than he might naturally be. So perhaps instead you could have a quiet midnight story and snuggle in a room with a dim light, or maybe repeat part of his bedtime routine with him. That way he might stay calm enough to fall asleep after an hour or so, and at least not wake the others, and over time you could make the awake period shorter and shorter and hope he grows out of it (or just put an audio book on!).

Patch1972 · 18/12/2016 21:06

Sleep?.. I think I heard about that once, many moons ago.

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