Anybody's 'difficult' 11 year old turn out OK in the end?

[MissDallas]

I need some hope .

My DS's behavior is horrible. He screams and shouts at us, he won't do as he's told, he is nasty to/about his sister, our home life is a battle field.

He started a new school a year ago and we have had some complaints about his behavior at break time. He hit a child and pushed another child. However, if you ask him about it, he says it's because they are bullying him. The school have told him that if anyone bullies him, he must tell the teachers immediately. But he doesn't. Which they think means he isn't being bullied.

It is Hallowe'en tonight and he loves Hallowe'en. I am tempted to tell him he can't go Trick or Treating. I know it will upset him but I am at my wits end with him.

We also have a lovely holiday planned which I am considering cancelling due to his behavior. He will be gutted, but I don't think he deserves to go.

Please don't anybody suggest counseling, this is not an option for us. I just need to hear if anybody got through this and if their DC turned out OK in the end.

I just need some hope.

Anyone?

You originally asked about whether anyone's child had turned out well in the end. My oldest DS ,who has ADHD and ASD, had a very difficult time through school. My heart sank when any teacher wanted "a word" at the end of school.

I remember one particular parents evening when the teacher just used it to moan about him non-stop and when she finally paused for breath I asked her "do you have anything positive to say about my child?". That was a particular low point.

I'm pleased to say though that as he matured his behaviour has got better and better. He's at college now and is a lovely young man who is largely independent. I'm very proud of him.

Some children just need a bit more work than others.

Thanks ImprovisingNow. I appreciate your reply.