Asked if ds2 is autistic- twice in 1 week

[amysurroundedbyboys]

Firstly hello this is my first post, I've been a lurker for a while, please bear with me
This week I have been asked if ds2 is autistic twice. First when he had a super meltdown in the hairdressers, he doesn't like loud noises and has an ent appointment next month. Second, when he jumped into the arms of a delivery person before I got chance to stop him. I'm aware he's overly friendly and his meltdown may have been unusual for most but I just don't see how it's appropriate for people to just ask so flippantly. I'm now starting to question everything.

Two things you have mentioned that are autistic triats doesn't like loud noises and 2 the inappropriate boundaries with a stranger . Do you have any other concerns ?

Well I suppose it's a very personal question so possibly rude on that count, but equally autism is hardly insult so I'd struggle to be offended.

Don't give it another thought unless you're actually worried that he might be.

He has suspected glue ear, which explains the loud noises.
He's had a Sen assessment, been to speech and language and signed off the day of assessment so I really don't think he is autistic, but who knows I'll keep an open mind.
If he is autistic then he is.
I just don't get how people can just be so blasé about a subject that can be so sensitive, especially when said in hushed voices and over exaggerated gestures.
He starts school next week so I'm fretting about everything

Well I think it shows that people are becoming more aware of ASD, and the fact that children on the spectrum are not al: non-verbal and removed from human interaction.

Maybe those people have had experience of children on the spectrum. At least they are aware of "hidden" special needs.

Re:school, have you spoken to his teacher about his hearing issues etc?

For some reason people often feel it's acceptable to pass comment about things that have nothing to do with them, especially when it come to children.

They rarely mean anything by it, but it certainly can be insensitive. Try not to fret, it's not worth the headspace

I think it might be appropriate to ask if the person asking is actually going to do something useful with the information - a nosy bystander not so much. So a hairdresser wanting to know whether a child is autistic, so they can change their approach and try to avoid a meltdown is, I think, not unreasonable. But Joe Bloggs who's just interested/sympathetic - maybe not. It's not an insult but it is at least private.

Yes. If it's an "is he autistic?" Followed by a "what can I do to help?" Then I'd think that was quite nice but if it was an "is he autistic?" Meaning "wow! That's an awful tantrum and I'm being nosey" then not good.

The hairdresser I get, not very tactful but I can see the intention was in the right place. The other woman, I suppose on reflection was just taken aback by his behaviour.
Thanks ladies I think twice in 1 week just made me overthink things x

Ds has hearing issues and I've been told many times that hearing issues can mimic ASD. See how the ENT appointment goes.