Transition at childminders, DS cried for a whole 2 hours, so sad :(

[FifiFerusha]

Does it get any better?

My DS is ten months and due to start at the childminders two days a week from next week. We are doing a little transition period this half term where DS goes for a few hours here and there at the childminders. I was worrying myself over whether he would be able to sleep there but that has gone out the window as he was distraught today. He cried the whole two hours he was there since I left him. My poor thing. Does it get any better, do they adjust? The childminder seemed a bit stressed I think. I think I am really worried but would welcome anybody else's experiences. How on earth can he sleep there if he won't settle anyway. He also refused all snacks, and at home he is extra greedy. Please, reassurance needed, feel very low about it all, going back to work etc... X x x

My DS1 is 15months and has been with my parents since I went back to work so is used to being away from me. We introduced him to nursery for 2 morning per week and like you we have had the tears, not eating or drinking, really unsettled. I cried on my way to work on Friday. Just wanted to reassure you that ur not alone, I'm told that it can take 4-6 weeks for them to settle and get used to the new routine. I think we have to stay positive and in time they will settle, it's horrendous I know especially when they aren't eating. The nursery nurses told me not eating etc was common at first. Xx

You maybe need to do the settling in a bit slower?

Next time go for an hour and you stay there with him. Next time take him there and leave for 30 mins. Next time upto an hour. Etc. Obviously this will only work if you are allowed and you have town to do this but I did this for my DS when he started nursery and he settled no problem and he was 11 months.

It's hard but he will get there!

Thank you for the replies. I completely agree that the settling in period should have been more gradual and planned. I think the cm thought it might be easier so we have started it too late and I am at work this Friday. Gutted as had I thought that he would get this distressed I would have organised this better :( .

So, he went again since for another two hours. Cm decided to take him out to the park, to visit farm etc... He cried for an hour and a half and calmed for the last half an hour in the park( the one I take him to often).

I think I hadn't thought this through so well. My DD took to going to a childminder (she went at 18 mo though) with ease so have never even thought this problem would arise. Silly of me really.

He will go tomorrow for two hours in which time the cm will try and get him to nap.. Ha, and yes, you guessed it, he will only settle with me so far for naps. Won't settle for DP! Argh, feel really worried about what the next few weeks are going to turn into. This back to work transition is not not not not easy x x

I really feel for you, my dc2 started nursery at 10 months too and it Did Not Go Well .. Lots of crying and no napping. It lasted quite a while really and i was so torn about the whole thing and really questioning everything. All I can say is she's 19 months now and somehow it became better and then so great. She absolutely loves it now. I've no doubt that your ds will settle too but this transition bit is really hard on you. More so than him! Hopefully because it's a CM your ds will settle even quicker than mine did as there might be a bit more 1on 1. Hang in there

Thank you half star, I need to give this time then. I am beginning to accept that this may be the way of it for a while. So hard when one puts so much effort into their feeds and sleeps during mat leave and then for it all to go a bit haywire when you'd just got somewhere. Just dropped him off again for a couple of hours. . .and yes he screamed and screamed ahhhhhh x

It's because it's new and confusing.
As long as someone is there to comfort and console and cuddle, I would try not to worry.
He is safe, he is cared for, it's ok.

I had this with DS who was 18m so...
DD had trouble settling into school having not started until 3!
It can happen at every age depending on child. Bless

I feel for you Fifi, the settling in really hurts. It will get better! I second what Rain said - do try to do it a bit more gradually and stay with him a bit. We settled our DS (same age) in a week at nursery so you more or less do have time if you're back to work on Friday. Can you stay with him for the first half hour tomorrow? play with him, show him how much fun it is and that the childminder is someone you like and trust. Then leave for however long you were going to. Then stay maybe 15 mins on Weds. Quick drop off on Thurs. I expect this is a no but do you have anyone - partner, parents - who could do some care over the next fortnight as you go back to work, so that he doesn't have to do a full day at childminders immediately?

Does your DS have anything from home he can take to childminders - familiar bedding, a cuddly toy? and you said he's normally greedy at home so will he be distracted by food when you leave?

Our DS took took at least a month before he was napping anything as well at nursery as at home. He would manage maybe 10 mins if that before waking, so he was shattered for a long time. He did adjust. Good luck!