What has your child been in trouble for at primary school?

[moochy11]

I'm just interested to know what other children at different schools have been in trouble for, my dd's school seem incredibly strict but a friend's little girl goes to another local school that sounds a lot more laid back about what they see as standard behaviour for children that age (5).

My dd seems to keep getting told off and getting warnings and cards for things that I think a lot of children that age do like running, chatting, snatching a toy etc and making a mess when they do painting, what do other schools give out warnings / cards for? I'm not excusing her I just think it does seem pretty strict for 5 year olds, or am I totally not clued up on appropriate school sanctions for these things?

Kicking a ball into the changing room fire alarm and setting it off: whole school evacuated and fire department despatched

3rd child going through primary now (P2 in NI money). None of them have been in trouble (that I'm aware of). However our school doesn't do warnings and that card crap.

Is she actually being told off, or just asked not to run/snatch etc?

My Ds is mainly told off for not doing what he was told ie not to run when everyone is sitting down, not to get off the window sill when asked etc. Last week he was told off for hiding outside with his friend at break time and not coming in so everyone had to go out and look for them. He has also put himself on the naughty step to show the teacher how much he doesn't care about being on the naughty step....

Ds2 and a friend managed to flood the bathroom on day one of school. They sat in the sinks turned the water on and squealed in delight at the sinks filling up and overflowing around theme hilts still sat in sinks swinging legs..

He also sat in the raised water play tray fully clothed as well in the first few weeks rather than standing nicely with a rubber duck around it like everyone else

Him and water didn't seem to mix well

She's being told off and coming home with warning cards and notes in her parent teacher book, recently for: chatting when she should be quiet, fidgeting / playing with the girl in front's hair at carpet time, not putting an apron on for messy play etc do most schools give things like cards for this type of thing? The system is they get told to stop doing somethng, if they carry on they then get an orange warning card, if they still carry on they get a red card that they bring home at the end of the day and return the next morning, and they are kept inside for 5 mins at play time. If they get 2 red cards in one week they miss out on things like getting to play in the big playground on Friday lunch time with the rest of the class or a fun activity. They do tell them they'll lose these things if they carry on, have explained to dd she needs to listen to her teacher and especially once she gets a warning card, but she just keeps on doing whatever she's been told not to do!

Things she's done in the past that I agree warranted a red card: hiding in the toilets with a friend, splashing their faces with so much water they got their hair and uniform soaked, repeatedly blowing raspberries and being silly like pretending she's a baby and crawling on the floor and not listening to her warning!

Oh after that I actually think yabu.

She is being given fair warning and several chances to stop.

Talking at quiet time is fine if it's one child but teacher likely has 30 odd and if one is allowed to do as they please then why not all?

Fidgeting and distracting others is exactly the same.

Not putting on an apron for painting...have you not seen the threads on here from raging parents that yet another uniform has been ruined because the teacher couldn't be arsed to get the children to put on aprons?!

As a former teacher I have to say that if she is being warned and not stopping then she absolutely deserves to get a card/some form of punishment. Imagine the chaos if I'd let 30 five year olds get away with things after I'd asked them to stop! The system sounds similar to many I've seen so not unusual. If she's getting so many cards you are noticing that there is a lot perhaps it's time to have a word with her teacher about how you can work together to improve her behaviour in school.

Only 2 issues here to date - Reception, chatting during carpet time and Y1, hitting his friend (who had just hit him). No cards yet.

DS' friend got into trouble last term after he admitted it was him who weed in the bin..

My 5 year olds school lets you make it to the rainbow if very good, onto rain cloud if bad. Often is on rainbow, never on rain cloud ... And am now worrying she'll be an eager to please follower rather than challenger / following her own path! So although obviously you have to reinforce the rules, a little gleam of pleasure at your little one being an individual is called for!!! (Have no doubt mine will get there at some point!!)

I've just realised that last sentence in my previous post might sound harsh. I more meant that you should chat with the teacher as your dd might be struggling with the rules and boundaries and the teacher might suggest ways to help. Might also be worth asking what reward system they have for good behaviour so that you can talk about this at home, and praise if the teacher tells you she is on green or gold or the rainbow or whatever they have to represent good behaviour.

YANBU to think these are the sort of things that most 5 year olds do. I think though that most 5 year olds stop the first time they are told to. Children mature at different rates but your dd needs to learn to follow the rules and obey her teacher (that makes me sound really draconian which I'm not but you can't really teach 30 children if some keep messing around - school is very different to home).

I speak as the mother of a boy who was so far overdrawn on golden time he had given up all hope of ever getting it again. I suggest you take the initiative and arrange a time to chat to teacher about how you child is doing, whether it's within the normal range and what parents and school can do to bring it into normal range if necessary. With mine at the start we were told they always have a few boys in particular who struggle to settle into the classroom routine, as time went on the others have settled and his behavior begins to isolate him from other children. It's not been fun for us but it helps to demonstrate to the school that you the parents support the school and reinforce their expectations.

My DS, as a five year old, came ruefully home from school to tell me that there were rules there; no kissing and no whistling. Guess what he'd been focussed on.

Thanks, I now have some perspective on what is normal behaviour for 5 year olds at school and clearly dd is going too far, if she's not listening to warnings then yes absolutely she should be given cards. I was thinkng originally that the things she was getting cards for seemed quite minor in comparison to things other children were getting cads for, like recently a little boy kicking another, a couple of girls holding the toilet door shut at the bottom and not letting another girl out. The things dd does are not harming others but now I totally see that if she's not listening to warnings and is repeatedly chatting etc then the teacher has no choice but to give her a card especially if she's not learning from what's happened and does the same thing again the next day (that's the chatting). I was probably thinking too much about the actual deed itself thinking why is she being given the same sanction as a child who has hurt another, thanks, the teacher's perspective totally makes sense, the rules and system are th same even if the deed is different.

I'd better have a chat with her teacher, I needed a bit of MN perspective first as I had no idea what was "normal" for this age and systems in other schools. I don't know why dd can't stop herself from chatting! I don't know why it's not sinking in and she keeps doing it!

The only thing DS has been in trouble for was 'punching' a particularly wet year 6 boy when he was in reception. When I asked him what he was thinking it transpired that he'd actually given him a high five with a closed fist 😂😂😂

DS1 in trouble once for "staring" at the P3 teacher during assembly. he was 5.

DS2 for quietly reading his book when he had finished his maths work. he was 11.

No other incidents of "bad" behaviour. DS2 missed out on a class golden hour movie treat for that. To say I was unhappy was an understatement. It was a temporary teacher who decided it was disrespectful. His normal teacher allowed it as a matter of course.

Miaow - no thanks. One water devil is enough. Luckily he's been swimming well since 3 so gets to enjoy his water love a lot.

Today however he was in semi trouble again, as he brought 5 snails inside school from playtime in his pocket and lined them up on his desk as his 'snail army'. I couldn't keep a straight face easily when teacher told me on collection. This is ds2. Ds1 is a teachers pet who knows every rule to man and obeys.

Art loving the snail army. DS would have been super impressed and done the same thing tomorrow.

Only ones I know about, although I expect there are more, are age 5 in reception chatting during carpet time. Teacher only told me because apparently he sobbed after being sent to time out spot. Tbh I felt for him but she had to follow through. Other was in yr 3 when he called a friend a name. Tbh he could have said far worse than the name he chose and the other child was winding him up. Got red card and was supposed to miss 5 mins golden time but can't remember if he actually did.

Artandco I'm not sure I could have kept a straight face when confronted by a snail army if I was your child's teacher! That's hilarious!