tantrums but only in public places - nearly 2 yo

[Bee182814]

Hi,

After returning from a disastrous trip in to town I was wondering if anyone had any advice.

My son is nearly 2 and VERY headstrong. He cannot be distracted, bribed (or incentivised as I like to call it) he will not talk to me and give me reasons for his tantruming despite having a huge vocabulary for his age. I can't strap him in to buggy as he's refused it for several months now unless he's asleep then wakes up and wants out immediately.

My question is - he only really does this if we're out and we're somewhere he doesn't want to be - shop, café, restaurant, bank, friends houses and obviously car seat and buggy. I'm waiting for HV for referal to have his behaviour assessed but in the interim, what is the right thing to do???? We literally just have to cross the threshold of these places and he goes in to meltdown even with food and drinks and toys to distract him, promises of getting an ice cream if he behaves etc. Should I strap him in before we get there and let him scream and ignore? I did so in primark this morning and everyone was staring at me. There's nothing wrong with him except that he doesn't want to be in the shop! The minute we left he stopped. Went in to next shop and started again and repeat! I dont believe too much in dragging my kids around the shops and coffee shops endlessly anyway so I don't attempt it often but it does happen every single time I try. I dont want to leave every time it happens as I dont want to teach him that if he screams he will get his own way He has done this since about 10 months old climbing out of highchair and screaming if out for lunch etc.

At home he's not too bad - although the no word obviously doesn't go down too well.

Please help!

he will not talk to me and give me reasons for his tantruming despite having a huge vocabulary for his age

This jumped out at me. He's 2. You need the emotional maturity to be able to articulate not just the words.

Have you tried warning him in advance? Shops are pretty stressful - I wouldn't bother unless essential.

So I would tell him what he should do in simple sentences. Might be better than saying no.

Yes I always tell him where we're going and what we're doing and stuck to it rigidly (my sister had a real issue with this as a kid and it's always stuck with me.) I don't tend to take him out places like this bit unfortunately was desperate today (going on holiday next week - I'm pregnant and needed a swimsuit - always hard buying these things online when pregnant!) We don't go to coffee or out to lunch or dinner or anything generally anyway as I don't think it's fair on them - they're not made to sit still at this age. It's just become more difficult than usual as no one been available to babysit for the last 6 months so neither of us have had any time away from him to do these things without him!