What friendship guidance/advice do you give your children?

[chickenstew74]

I struggled a bit with friendships at school still do . Now that my DD7 is at school she is experiencing the usual playground politics regarding friendships/who to play with etc.

Based on my own experiences of not dealing with this kind of thing very well I don't feel very 'qualified' and wondered what sort of advice or guidance other Mumsnetters given their DCs on these matters. Should I always offer advice or sometimes just listen and empathise? I'm aware that there are always two sides to a story.

Ideally I try to guide her towards being kind, considerate etc but not a pushover. Help her to have boundaries but also to be inclusive. I'm looking for the kind of thing that will help her navigate these issues herself confidently without trying to control her behaviour or make things overly complicated. I'm very bad for overthinking things!

If people don't make you happy then you don't have to spend time with them. Walk away if someone is being nasty.

With my older children/teens, we have talked about different friends playing different roles in your life: some people might be really fun to go out and party with, but be a bit flaky when the chips are down, other people you might find you don't have that much in common with any more, and find them a tad dull and serious, but you know you will always have each other's backs so it is worth putting the effort in to maintain your friendship.