2 month old, first baby, feels like he's lagging behind

[SweetBerries]

Hi everyone,

My gorgeous 10 week old son is causing me a bit of concern. He's always been tiny (was born at 5lb 11oz and dropped to 5lb 2oz in the first 5 days) but has a huge head (5th percentile v 75th percentile) so I'm always looking out for signs of developmental delay.

My friends, who gave birth about a week after me, say that their babies are holding their heads up, batting toys and pushing themselves round on a turntable made for tummy time...my poor little man won't even lift his head up on his playmat :(. He is starting to wave his arms around if I hold a toy in front of him long enough, but will only lift his head if he's on my chest (which he does no problem and for minutes at a time).

I don't think I'd be so concerned if it weren't for the size of his head, which I also presume is the reason he's struggling with tummy time. Did anyone else's little ones have huge heads and get there eventually? I think I'm just looking for someone who has been there, done that, and come out alright in the end, as all the stories my friends are telling me are of babies who are getting along a heck of a lot faster than my DS.

ALL responses appreciated, even if it's to tell me to stop being silly!

xxx

Stop being silly!

He CAN lift up his head. He is attentive to the world and is interested in toys. Sounds exactly where he should be tbh.

Honestly I think you're friends are exaggerating what their kids do. My DS was big and strong and developmentally quite speedy and I know he wasnt bloody pushing himself around at 2 months! No way! He also wasnt grabbing jack shit, lol.

I suspect they are magnifying everything in a very unattractive competitive-Mummy way.

Don't be silly! Hes not lagging behind, hes only just started!

My 3 DC never did tummy time, hated it. 2 have larger than average size heads too (which is what 75th percentile.is, not massive). Eldest one never rolled over either. Now and active school boy that plays football, cricket, Hockey, rugby etc etc

Relax, stop being silly, stop comparing and toughen up, its going to get a lot worse on the competitive parenting front!

Babies all do things at different times. Even by the time they are 1 year old, there is a huge range of what babies can and can't do. It is hard, especially if you are worried, but try not to focus on what other people's babies are doing, and enjoy your lovely son. 10 weeks is still so young.

Different situation, but my DS was 8 weeks prem, and obviously took a lot longer to do everything - so I just blanked everyone else out . He's now almost 4, and you wouldn't have a clue that he didn't smile/sit up/clap/point/stand/walk at the same time as the majority of his peers.

What is your GP's/HV's view on your son's head size? Have you been referred to paediatrics for any further review? I know a mum whose daughter has quite a larger than average head, and she has been receiving extra HV visits to monitor her development. Yes, she was a little later in lifting her head, and sitting up, but actually, she has done those things completely within a "normal" range of time - she isn't showing any significant developmental delays.

Be kind to yourself

Annarose and Foragogo - you're both absolutely right, of course. I'm sure you know it's difficult when everyone around you is saying 'well can't he do THIS yet?' but I need to toughen up and just ignore it all. To be fair, he babbles and chats and seems to be trying (obviously extremely unsuccessfully!) to form words with his mouth already, so maybe he'll be like me and a talker rather than a mover haha. Thanks for the reality check!

Teaandhobnobs - My doctor is happy with his head, sees no issue with it. We are under the paediatrician for mild positional plagiocephaly and he said he's not concerned either, but has asked me to keep an eye on the measurements. I went on at him for a CT scan but he wasn't having any of it. The HV says that he's doing what he should be at this point and he's showing no symptoms of hydrocephalus, which of course would be the main concern. 75% is not massive, it's just that his weight is only on the 5%...but then it used to be a lot lower than that, and his head was at one point on the 85% line, so maybe everything is evening itself out.

I tell you what, this whole baby thing makes you one big ball of neuroses, but I wouldn't change it :)

xxx

OP. My DS was 5lb 13oz when he was born and took a little while to hit early milestones, but he got there. He is now a 6' rugby player with a degree in economics and a great job.

Don't worry OP. People talking crap about their baby's achievements.

He had a big head too. I had the stiches to prove it!

Hi sweetberries
My ds was 5lb 11oz too
He was so tiny but had and still has a big head.
Ds struggled a little with head control probably coz he had a slim body but a big noggin he's four now. He's a clever and cheeky little boy.
I agree with all the pps, there unfortunately is a lot of competitive parenting. Some babies and children will seem to be more advanced than your ds but a lot of what these parents are telling you is exaggerated.
Relax and enjoy your baby it sounds like he's right on track

Honestly you will need to grow a thicker skin. Children develop at different rates but right up to end of secondary school people will say to you 'my DS can do this, he's grade 16 at piano and is taking 12 GCSEs and he is never going to go to our local comprehensive school it's not good enough, he's a genius don't you know'. I have two DSs, 8 and 10, and it just doesn't stop.

However, if you are seriously concerned about a health or developmental concern, talk about it to your HV. When others start getting on your nerves because their precious little one can walk at 8 months old, just be happy that yours is crawling because you are still in the honeymoon period.

I used to say 'DS still doesn't sleep through he night (or eat steaks or know his alphabet) but he gives the BEST cuddles on the planet.

My DS is six months old now but didn't really show an interest in toys until around 3-4 months. He has also never been very keen on tummy time and even now he much prefers to sit. Your baby sounds totally normal!

In terms of his head, I actually weighed a little less than your DS when I was born, and was referred back to the hospital for checks due to having a disproportionately large head. First thing they did was measure my parents' heads; my dad was off the chart.

I turned out fine, was an early walker in fact (though late talker, too busy running around). So if the medics aren't worried, I would just try to relax and enjoy your baby.

DS was a big baby, but he had an enormous (40cm) head at birth.

Your DS is 10 weeks. There's really not much he should be doing now.

He's now nearly 4, and has no problem with anything. Except listening. He can hear perfectly well, he just chooses to bloody ignore me If you need RL reassurance, get the HV to tell you the same thing

Forgot to mention - at nearly 4 years old DS has to wear adult hats as hats from the kids section don't fit his gigantic bonce.

Newborns only tend to lift their heads when they are on your chest, that's normal, don't worry!

You don't need to do tummy time on a mat. If you're happy doing it on your chest that counts. Also in a sling, even if he's upright and not actually on his tummy. There isn't much on a playmat to interest a 10 week old - they can't see very far, they can't control their arms properly, it always seems a bit mean and frustrating for them to me.

You will look back and smile at this, I think :) Just enjoy your baby and don't worry about any nonsense anybody else is claiming.