how to get DD (7) to do as she's asked?

[rhetorician]

DD is 7 - lovely, lively girl. She is probably going to receive a diagnosis of ADHD/dyspraxia but I wanted some tips on how to get her to do things when I ask - like getting dressed (which she finds difficult) or putting her shoes on. I have to ask her multiple times before she takes any notice, with varying degrees of escalation (on my part) to shouting. Any ideas? I'd just like to be able to ask her to do something - I accept that she is easily distracted and i need to keep her on task - and have her do it

I have a DS7 it drives me round the bend asking him to do things umpteen times. I slowly escalate and invariably end up raising my voice and then he asks why did you shout?
This week I'm making a conscious effort to make sure that I get down to his level and look him in the eye when I'm asking something important. When he was little I used to hold his hands too, I may end up having to do that.
It's a pain and feels like it should be unnecessary for a seven year old but I'm tired of being shouty.
But you're not alone.

My dd responds well to 'what did I ask you to do?'. Somehow repeating the instruction back to me makes her do it.

oh I know I'm not alone! but it does drive me round the bend

Ds 8 gets distracted between the living room and the hallway and I end up banshee-like. He is also likely to receive an ADHD diagnosis so I know it's hard for his brain to process instructions. It's really frustrating though. When I remember I tell him what I want him to do, calmly and clearly at his level,he gets really cross if I try and make him repeat it though.

it is hard - keeping calm does help, even if it's really difficult to remember this.

Can you make it her responsibility rather than having to ask her? So give her a list of tasks which need to be done in the morning including "Get out of bed". Have some buffer time at the end which can be used to watch TV or something if she finishes early. Then if she is getting distracted all you need to say is "DD - the list?"

Visual schedule!!! I swear by it.
We went from 'what do I have to do next ' 10 times every morning, and crying cos she was 'surprised' she had to go to day care each day to (within a week) reeling off the list of things she had to do and telling me the schedule for each day of the week. With day names which she hadn't grasped before.
Now she goes and sets up her own visual schedule when I tell her what we are doing.
She's 5.5 and starting prep in February. (Overseas)

I'd put it off for ages cos I thought they were only for kids who didn't understand stuff but it really helps her to process the info when it's visual instead of auditory.

a visual chart sounds good - though she can read very well now, so written would probably do (too lazy to do pictures and laminating...) thanks for the tips

Ours was just done on a whiteboard. No laminating needed!