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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

at wits end - teaching road safety to 2 year old

14 replies

onedayatatime73 · 21/10/2015 09:00

I have a very lively (naughty) dd age 2 and am really struggling to teach her to be sensible near the road.
She actually ran away from me last week and ran down run road. She could have been killed. We were inside at the time and so she didn't have her reins on

So at the moment - she wears reins (or strapped in buggy) whenever we are out of the house.

But the problem is - she now knows it is so naughty that she finds it funny - so even with reins on she waits for a 'moment' and then BOLTS - ir because I don't see it coming am not always prepared in time.

And often we can be inside somewhere (tesco/ Costa) and then she will just RUN to automatic doors and out to road.

Have tried punishment (no teddy, no books, no biscuit) etc but she just laughs

Started thinking I am making too much of a deal of it (she is enjoying the attention) but that's not helping either.

Staying indoors is not an option! Have to take her older sister to and from school etc.

Has anyone had this and have any magical advice? Is there something I can do I haven't thought of?

I am becoming more frightened each day and have had nightmares about her running away from me last week.

Sorry for long post but please help.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ICantDecideOnAUsername · 21/10/2015 09:11

I had a bolter, my advice; a) she will grow out of it, b) be firm and consistent c) be aware and alert (as much as you can). I also use (usually automatically through panic!) a tone which suggests danger/urgency when shouting 'stop' which he responds to better than if I just shout it normally, iyswim. Also keep explaining calmly how dangerous it is and lots of ott praise when she waits/walks nicely. Distraction also helps. Good luck, I know how terrifying it can feel.
You mention something about being inside, do you mean she escapes? can you lock doors to make sure she can't?

Snossidge · 21/10/2015 09:17

I think you just have to keep her strapped into the buggy until she is older/more sensible.

PipnJo · 21/10/2015 10:53

My ds2 was the same. He is turning 4 soon and at age 2 to about 3 1/2 , i thought he would never 'get it'. He found it hilarious!
He was in a buggy longer than his older brother, because he was such hard work. School run he'd be across the school field whilst meant to be waiting for ds1, nothing i did or said would help.
But with alot of repetition, getting down on his level and explaining simply but firmly it seems to have helped.

Now, he waits next to me, he will come back to me when i ask him to. He stops at roads, and will hold my hand without sounding like he is being murdered.

So really, there was no amazing thing i can say that worked. But i can say it will get easier.

Iwantakitchen · 21/10/2015 11:20

at home, play games to encourage her to understand the word stop. Play music and play musical chair, when you stop the music and say stop she has to stop to win, then give her reward or praise when she does. Then just do it with a musical instrument, shake shake stop. Again praise. Make it a game. Then when out, when you say walk she walks.; jump she jumps; stop she stops. Carry on making it a positive thing and she might find the walking stopping game more interesting than the running away game.

Tarzanlovesgaby · 21/10/2015 11:25

youd dc is too young yet to understand the consequences imo.

if you have a bolter it's not safe to let them run free, so you need to use reins/buggy/handholding at all times until they are a bit older.

ffffffedup · 21/10/2015 20:09

I'd keep her in a buggy too especially on the school runs or in shops. Maybe reins when walking through the park so there isn't that iminent danger if she runs off

Hypotenuse · 21/10/2015 20:16

She's too young to understand, she likes to run, she likes the fuss it brings. You have to keep her safe, which means no freedom for her near any roads. Don't be mean about it, just be factual. 'The buggy/reins/holding hands keeps you safe'.

You have to do your job as her mum and keep her safe and out of the road. No matter what.

Please remember that if you label your baby as 'naughty' already at two years old, she will never know a time when her mum didn't call her naughty, and she will think that is all that she is. Pick different words: clever, kind, friendly, cheerful. Labels are so important.

WelliesAndPyjamas · 21/10/2015 20:16

Buggy. No question.

Distract her with a book, a toy, a pot of snacks etc while you do the school run. She's just too young to grasp what you tell her about road danger so you just need to keep her safe and strapped in for now.

Itsbloodyraining · 21/10/2015 20:20

It's a phase and she'll grow out of it. In the meantime buggy and trolley. Mine won't wear reins, she just sat on the floor and refused to move. She's just started to hold hands sometimes. I feel your pain but it won't be for ever.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/10/2015 02:00

I had one of these. Reins almost all the time, locks very high on all doors and wait.

reni2 · 22/10/2015 02:06

Reins or buggy. Try again in a year's time. No point trying to teach road safety, she's too young.

TheSconeOfStone · 22/10/2015 20:37

I had on of these. Got better at 3 1/2 ish. One bad incident where i lost her at 4 in a park on her scooter. Scared the hell out of her and I don't think it ever happened again. At 7 she now has excellent road sense.

Buggy/reins for now I'm afraid. My second is totally different. Always at my side like a little shadow. Nothing I did any differently to the first.

timelytess · 22/10/2015 20:46

While you're at it, could you teach the waves to hold back from coming to the shore?

OP, you're asking too much of her. She's a toddler, she doesn't have a concept of 'safety'.

I'm worried you describe her as 'naughty'. She's only two, she's full of amazement at being able to do things that you say she shouldn't and so keeps trying things out.

Every time she does this dangerous thing, catch her, take her aside, get her attention and tell her how dangerous it is, and that if she is hit by a car, she will be gone and your heart will break because you love her so much. She won't know what you're going on about but she'll pick up the vibe.

Good luck. Think well of her, she depends entirely on you for her security and self-esteem.

SimLondon · 22/10/2015 21:12

"OP, you're asking too much of her. She's a toddler, she doesn't have a concept of 'safety'.

I'm worried you describe her as 'naughty'. She's only two, she's full of amazement at being able to do things that you say she shouldn't and so keeps trying things out." I totally agree with this...

But I had a little runaway - i will never forget screaming watching her run towards an actual fucking unguarded circular saw at toddler height - ok it was switched off, we were in machine mart whilst daddy was buying something or other. She laughed turned round and said 'mummy i'm coming back again' - 2 year olds just don't get danger. Even at 4 DD now understands about staying safe and holding hands near cars etc but has no concept of stranger danger and will happily talk to anyone which also scares me.

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