14 week baby won't stay asleep in cot - HELP!

[JoanPrune]

My 14 week old son is getting to be more and more of a handful at bed time (we try and put him down between 6.30 and 7). He'll only fall asleep when nursing and then wakes up about 30 minutes later and has to rocked to sleep in our arms - after crying for about 30 minutes. He used to go back down again in the night after waking to feed around 2am but now we have to rock him to sleep then too. Last night he would only stay asleep next to me and was eating every 2 hours. I know I'm supposed to be putting him down awake but he just wails every time I do that, so unless you think I should be trying controlled crying or CIO, please don't suggest that! Most people seem to think he's still too young for that. Tell me if you think otherwise. Finally, he has reflux. It's been worse lately and his medicine dose has just been upped to reflect his weight. For a while I think that was what was waking him up, but since the dose has been increased I'm not sure why he would still be waking up. Please help!

You just need to keep trying. DS would wake up as soon as he was put down until he was about 5mo, including at night.

White noise was what worked with him.

DD wouldn't reliably go down without waking up until she was about 14mo!

is the bed too cold?
dc2 (winter baby) didn't want to stay in the cot and we discovered baby didn't like the cold surface.
we but a hot water bottle on the matress before bedtime (not with baby in!) and this sorted it out.

Just a question but why do you think you should be putting him down awake?

At 14 weeks we started putting DS into a cot (he was a moses basket refuser and so we ended up bloody co-sleeping, not through choice!)

The first couple of weeks were hard, me doing feed, then DH patting and rocking for an hour or 2. Then when he woke we realised very quickly that the choice of 2 hours of patting/rocking at 2am compared to scoop out of cot and shove into bed next to me was a no brainer for us.

He's now 15 months, has a 5 minute feed at bedtime and is generally doing 7.30pm to 6.30am.

Could it be the timing? My DD will fall asleep while bf but if I put her into Moses basket straight away she will wake up as she is not in a deep sleep yet. So once she's asleep I wait whilst still holding her and quite often she will. wake up and drink again, fall asleep, wake up, drink, fall asleep ... until eventually she stays asleep for at least 20 minutes, shallow breathing. That's when I put her in Moses basket and she stays asleep.

A friend told me about babys sleep that after 15 minutes they are on a deep sleep but after 45 minutes in light sleep nut don't know what research that is based on.

O know all the advice says to put baby into bed sleepy but awake. TBH I think its nonsense. You decide what works best for you, your baby and your family. They will learn when they are old enough.

Www.parentingscience.com and
Www.Kellymom.com
Give factual information about sleep that I think you'll fund useful.

Elizabeth Pantley's book The no-cry sleep solution may be handy too.

Www.parentingscience.com and
Www.Kellymom.com

We ended up co-sleeping and still are with 14mo, not what we planned at all and certainly not for everybody. A friend has just had a similar problem and co-slept for about 3 weeks until they tried cot again with more success, so it could be a phase.
As another poster suggested, white noise is good and warmer bed - flannel sheets? Perhaps swaddling? As your little one has reflux, he might want to just be closer to you and your DH until he's feeling better.
Oh dear, I don't think I've helped much! Just know that you're doing your best and your DS knows that and it will pass.

4-month sleep regression springs to mind.. If you google it, you'll find more info. Or then growth spurt. We started co-sleeping at around that age and never looked back clocking in a full night's sleep for the first time since DS was born. But then again co-sleeping isn't for everyone.

If he's refluxy, have you tried elevating one end of the cot by placing books under the mattress to let him sleep in a slight upward angle?

Whatever you do, please don't do CIO or CC with your tiny baby..

He's definitely happier sleeping with me but his NICU nurses (we live US) were so forceful about not doing it it's made me scared. Sometimes I cave though. (He was in hospital for a month with Meconium Aspiration Syndrome.) I prefer sleeping on my own too. I don't really mind all the wakings as long as there's a sense of progress, but it feels like we're getting into bad habits. We've tried warming his mattress, holding him for anything up to an hour, not holding him for more than 5 minutes. Just feels like total pot luck. Thank you for your advice. Will give it some thought.