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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Do your dcs play out in the street? Mine never do and its bloody hard work!

21 replies

kissmyheathenass · 07/02/2013 10:10

Remembering my childhood playing in the streeet, with very fond memories. However, now with 3 dcs wanting friends back to our house to play, I am endlessly driving friends home, feeding them, texting their mothers to ask if they can stay for tea etc. I strongly feel the urge to open the front door and boot them out there with scooters to find some other children to play with. The thing is, there is noone else playing out there. Where have all the children gone? Is it just my area that is like this.

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Original poster

kissmyheathenass · 07/02/2013 10:15

you cant all be on the Worra threads!!

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Original poster

kissmyheathenass · 07/02/2013 19:45

Im back with a bump. Still curious!

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weegiemum · 07/02/2013 19:49

Dd1 (just 13) doesn't but is perfectly capable of arranging to meet up/getting the bus.

Ds plays football in a team with local boys, though 5 hours (yes hours ) after moving in we caught him climbing the fence of the local primary school pitches to play welcome to Castlemilk

Dd2 has several little friends in our street.

I love it. This is what I did as I kid, I'm glad my dc have the same opportunities!

IncognitoIsMyFavouriteWord · 07/02/2013 20:00

When the warmer weather comes DS and his friends are out all the time.

However I have a converted loft and its DS's "lounge"

There's usually about 4 preteens up there after school and at weekends.

ByTheWay1 · 07/02/2013 20:09

we are on a cul-de-sac and the kids are always out playing with someone or other in the square... kick about/cricket/bikes/scooters/bubble wands/frisbee/skipping - and we have a climbing frame, someone else a slide and see-saw, someone else a trampoline, so the kids are in and out of each others gardens/houses too - often have an extra 5 or 6 for ice-pops in the summer - makes for great water pistol and snowball fights too. Ages range from 4 to 14....

We are very lucky..

ubik · 07/02/2013 20:22

we live in a huge 4 bed flat. but we have no outdoor space. we are fortunate that their friends are walking distance away but playing in the street is a no, no until they are a bit older. also cars and and dog shit are a real problem.

when they are older they can pop over to the lovely botanical gardens nearby, but at the moment they are 8, 6 and 3 and it's not possible,

An yes it can be bloody hard work having friends back!

VoldemortsNipple · 07/02/2013 20:39

When DD was very little, we lived in a tiny terraced house which was straight into the street with a tiny back yard. All the parents would sit on the steps and the dcs would play. Ds1 also played out there. They learnt their boundaries and how to cross the road safely. It also taught them a lot about respecting other people and their property.

When the dcs were between 5 and 11, we moved house into an area which wasn't very nice. Lots of teenagers smoking pot a few doors down who were always getting stoped and searched. But we had a huge garden where the dcs could play and they were happy enough but I always felt they missed out on the social aspect of playing in the street.

Now we live in a nice area in a small close. We moved here 12 months ago.Ds2 (10) is always playing out in the street. I love it when all the kids have huge water fights in the summer or split into two teams for a game of war. When we had snow I took all the kids hot chocolate out because they'd been playing out for hours.

Having experienced both with my dcs, I think as long as it is safe, children really should be encouraged to play in the street.

usualsuspect · 07/02/2013 20:42

Mine played out all the time.

daffsarecomingup · 07/02/2013 20:46

mine go out in the cul de sac, but i have to remind them not to go onto the main road.

Original poster

kissmyheathenass · 07/02/2013 21:57

I am very envious of all you who can allow dcs to play out. It's how I grew up and the fun, the social aspect and the physical fitness benefits were great. Ds, 12, just wants to play on his PS3. Its restricted to certain times but if he has a friend round they seem incapable of finding anything else to do. My dds are very active and would love being outside on their scooters but there is noone else out there.

I am adding cul-de sac to my list of requirements come relocation!

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lljkk · 08/02/2013 19:44

I would go out with them as much as possible.

LadyLech · 09/02/2013 08:38

Maybe start a new trend? Maybe the other children don't go out because there's noone to play with too?

In our old area, none of the children played out. I still let my DD ride her bike / scooter out the front. But when we moved, we deliberately chose to move to an estate where the children do play out. My two are always out in the summer now. I barely see them, except when they come home with hoards of friends that need feeding!

Original poster

kissmyheathenass · 09/02/2013 15:10

LAdylech, that sounds lovely! Just what I want for my dcs.

We live on a fairly busy road and when we move (still looking at yoyur recommendations Lljkk!) we are leaning towards a newish estate. I think it looks great - no through traffic, lots of family houses, most built with all the nice extrras like an ensuite! Garage and parking. Perfect!

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doughnut44 · 09/02/2013 22:23

I live in a cul-de-sac on a barrats estate with a massive field in the middle. Hardly anyone plays out :(
My sons do occasionally in the better weather but no way would they go out if it's a tiny bit cold - right soft tarts they are. They prefer their toys or Xbox. Bugs me.

BluelightsAndSirens · 09/02/2013 22:30

I started to let mine play out last summer and at first they were the only ones and gradually other children started to play out, started with only playinginfront of ur houses or between such and such point and now they all go to the local park togeather or all in each others gardens etc.

steppemum · 09/02/2013 23:00

Our road is a dead end (not as neat as a cul-de-sac, but quiet enough) We let all our kids play out, in fact I really encourage independance and always have done.
I let my 10 year old walk to his friends, (5 minutes walk) go to the library, corner shop, football fied etc, all within 1/2 mile of home. he was allowed to walk home from cubs in daylight (needed to cross a road) and takes himself too and from school (round the corner)

I let my 7 yo dd walk to friends (in our road) scooter and roller blade in our street, sledge at the end of our road, and walk to library and corner shop (although I am more careful of when and how long she has been out)

5 year old - not yet, but walks to friends in our street with older ds or dd

The only reason I wouldn't is traffic. if we lived on a busy road, then I would be more careful, but I might still cross them over so they could then go to the park. Stranger danger is less dangerous than when we were kids, and I firmly believe they don't learn if they don't do it.

KatyTheCleaningLady · 10/02/2013 06:57

We live in a terrace on a busy street, so no playing out. We used to live in a cul de sac in a tiny village. And it was nothing but trouble. Bad apples ruined it by vandalism and bullying , so that my kids were getting involved in mischief and altercations.

No more playing out, even if we weren't on a busy street.

Original poster

kissmyheathenass · 10/02/2013 20:39

KAty, Im gobsmacked! It never crossed my mind there might be a downside. I do tend to have rose tinted specs on most of the time tho!
Now Steppmum, thats the sort of area I would like to live in! It sounds perfect socially and for independence. Are you in a town, village or city?

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TaperJeanGirl · 10/02/2013 21:03

No, mine dont play out, ever, wouldnt cross my mind to let them, if they want to play outdoors I take them to the park.

KatyTheCleaningLady · 10/02/2013 21:19

kissmyheathenass It broke my heart to have to bring them back inside. It should have been perfect! A small village off the main road. Everybody knew everybody else. A very safe beach to play on, a big shinty pitch, a nice little grove of trees to climb in, and a good playground.

All ruined because some kids liked to set fires, break shit, start fights, and cause trouble.

steppemum · 10/02/2013 22:27

We are in a city, it is not a very genteel area in fact we border a large estate which has its ermmm moments. I don't let him walk home after dark.

But I believe it is important. So I regulate what they do, I always give them a time to return (ds wasn't allowed to do it unaccompanied until he could read his watch) Giving them limited time (1/2 hour then check in at home) Very strict parameters as to where they can go. If they break them they get grounded etc. I have had to talk to him about who he plays out with (one child who is bad trouble, he knows to be wary of. And he has had a few bad moments (he came home crying once from some bullying behaviour)

dd is limited to going to and from somewhere (corner shop, library and friend's house) she is not allowed to play out on the playing field yet.

We used to live in a naice village and the boys went down the woods to be boys. It wasn't as idyllic as it looked and there was no way of quickly checking what they were up to. Also the village dynamic meant that there were few kids of ds age, so he played with older boys, which was not great.

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