Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Is it normal to have a 4yr old that doesn't like to play with his toys?

17 replies

acrunchieandacupoftea · 23/10/2011 10:41

My 4yr old doesn't like to play with his toys in his room. He doesn't seem to know what to do and my games don't seem to interest him.

I'm trying to get him to get out his animals, dinosaurs, medieval horses etc. but he is having a strop because he only, ever, wants to draw and he is cross I am trying to get him to do something different.

Help. What do other 4yr olds do with their toys???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

allhailtheaubergine · 23/10/2011 10:45

I think if he wants to draw let him draw.

My 3 and 5 yr olds will play with their toys together or with friends, but not so much alone. It's a personality thing maybe - ds is happy to sit and play cars or trains sometimes, whereas I don't think I have ever seen dd play by herself.

Another thought - my two didn't play with anything much while it was all a big jumble. When I got rid of most of it and organised the rest they could see what they had and played with things more.

Original poster

acrunchieandacupoftea · 23/10/2011 10:49

Thanks. But what games do they play? I remember being that age and playing alone with barbie and talking to myself... [hblush]

OP posts:

budgieshell · 23/10/2011 10:56

Try the two together select some interesting looking toys (not too many).
Find matching coloured pencils and set up on a table with paper.
Then he could try to draw his toys or lie them on the paper and draw around them.
Large chalk for outside on paving stones if you want to get him out doors a bit more.
You could add scissors, glue and things to stick on.
If he just wants to draw from his imagination just let him put the toys away and let him get on with it.
Children learn more when they are happy and drawing is fab because it is the first stage of writing, develops their imaginations and you could encourage him to talk about what he has done and count how many things he has done.
Go with it.

TethHearseEnd · 23/10/2011 10:57

What's a medieval horse?

Original poster

acrunchieandacupoftea · 23/10/2011 11:22

lol I mean one of those horses dressed up for medieval jousting competitions...

OK yes he can draw the toys...

OP posts:

jamandposterpaint · 23/10/2011 11:34

My eldest, now 11, never played with toys. Not ever. Oh the money we wasted trying to find something that she'd like

I know of others who have said the same, so it's not particularly unusual I don't think

Esta3GG · 23/10/2011 13:27

he is having a strop because he only, ever, wants to draw and he is cross I am trying to get him to do something different.

Then leave him alone to do what he wants to do and don't worry.
My son draws constantly - always has done. The only thing he truly loves is arty stuff. So that is what we give him.

Tgger · 23/10/2011 20:37

Let him do what he wants- best to go with their passions . My just turned 5 year old mostly draws and makes up his own imaginative games/worlds that don't involve toys other than as props sometimes for said games. My nearly 3 year old DD sits and plays with toys chatting away to herself. DS does play with toys a bit but is generally busy making or drawing or on some flight of fancy . Favourite at the moment is doing magic spells.

Is this just in his room or downstairs- is the most playing space in his room? Just ask as my two don't really have toys in their rooms, they play downstairs nearer me.

Original poster

acrunchieandacupoftea · 23/10/2011 21:40

He doesn't do much with his toys, it is me that selects teddies or little toy to join us at the kitchen table or in the lounge to try to encourage him to play with them.

He doesn't seem to want to do much with the toys. Although he does do a bit of chatting and imaginary play, but not a lot. Usually, loads and loads of drawing, maybe hide and seek...

Magic spells sounds like a fun game.

OP posts:

ceebeegeebies · 23/10/2011 21:44

DS1 (5) has always been exactly the same - he just doesn't do imaginative playing - never has and I am beginning to realise, never will. He makes an attempt every now and again but it soon tails off.

As a previous poster has said, we have SO many toys in the house to try and encourage it but to no avail. He doesn't really do anything tbh - he is just too physical and wants to be running, throwing or kicking balls constantly.

Thought it was normal until DS2 came along - he is nearly 3 now and will happily play with his toys for hours - he just sits there muttering to himself, role-playing, using his imagination etc. The difference is

SolidGoldVampireBat · 23/10/2011 21:47

Let him do what he wants FFS. Drawing is good. It's not like all he wants to do is torment the cat/whine/watch television.

SazZaVoom · 23/10/2011 21:50

My 4 (nearly 5yo) DD1 doesn't play with toys. Same as Ceebee, DC2 is brilliant with toys and imagination.

I do craft with DD1 and play board games and i run whilst she cycles. We find stuff to do which we both enjoy and i don't force the toys route.

Original poster

acrunchieandacupoftea · 24/10/2011 00:08

I don't really need the FFS thanks SGVB!

He went to see a speach and language therapist who said I should be directing his play. I'm only experimenting with it once in a while, usually I do let him do what he wants, drawing or jigsaw puzzles, or hide and seek games.

OP posts:

startail · 24/10/2011 00:29

DD1 never did toys, her presents for years were art and craft stuff for indoors and ride ons, sand pit and climbing frame outdoors.
She just wasn't into the sort of play where you act out scenes from real life (or fairy tales either) either with toys or other people.
She's now wants to do GCSe art so I guess it makes sense.
DD2 is the absolute opposite, really complex Playmobil stories set up all over the house. DD2 also finds real friends much easier too.

jellyandcustard · 24/10/2011 01:56

Why is he seeing a speech and language therapist? SAL delay and lack of imaginative play are a bit of a red flag for ASD - has the therapist mentioned this at all? Would you say his preoccupation with drawing borders on the obsessive? Does he have siblings? How does he interact with other children?

savoycabbage · 24/10/2011 02:31

My dd, now 7, has never really played with toys. When she was about 4 my dh told me that I should adjust my way of thinking about it. I was forever getting her dolls houses and playmobil and she just wasn't interested.

So now we have a craft area with a big table and shelves. Like a poor mans mr maker. She has a Sellotape dispenser and a long arm stapler, different kinds of paper, envelopes etc. We do our Christmas shopping at officeworks for her. She also likes playdoh, bead stringing, Hama beads and things like that. She likes doing things from the usbourne science experiments book.

When she was five we got her an old fashioned school desk with a lift up lid. When she was seven a full size desk.

Lucy88 · 25/10/2011 09:55

Same here - my DS (6) is not particularly interested in toys. He has had playmobile, lego, toy kitchen, garage, action figures etc etc. We had a conservatory that looked liked a Toys R Us warehouse. I did a car boot a few weeks ag and got rid of most of it.

He will play games such as snakes and ladders, operation, twister, kerplunk every now and again, but his real passion is football. It is all he wants to do. When the weather is ok, he is outside kicking a ball around or dragging me down to our local football pitch to watch Sunday League football. He has a season ticket at Man City and also plays for a local team. When the weather is rubbish, he will kick a balloon round the house or play FIFA on the Wii and DS.

I have accepted that this is what he likes and I let him get on with it. I use his passion to teach him things. Taught him to tell the time at the age of 5, using a football match as an example. He has a Premier League table, which helps with his maths by adding up points for the teams and working out their positions. He doesn't like writing normally, but he will happily write short stories about football. He also reads match reports in the newspaper.

I really wouldn't worry that your DS just likes to draw - there are so many possibilities with this. Think of all the money you will save not having to buy toys lol.

Flip