DS2 is cute/horrible making mine & siblings life so hard. Struggling BIG TIME...

[sonnysmum]

As I write this my DS (age 2) is clamouring up to try & hit my head & bash the computer (...I don't go on it that much around him) and I am at my wits end.

Simply: he is a super cute boy, loves playing at home with his trains, watching TV, playing with cars. He has great communication skills - not brilliant motor skills (he screams "STUCK" for someone to help him off the sofa/trike..)

He is the number 3 child - with a gorgeous loving older brother & sister.

And he is the most mardy, wingy tantrum-er I've ever seen.

It sounds dramatic, but I feel like he is ruining our lives. He tantrums & screams about EVERYTHING that is not the above & I feel like we have to abandon everything because of HIM.

It has come to a head as DH has been away for 2 weeks. I have been up every night for hours dealing with night tantrums (...oh yes...he carries them on thru the night...) then i went to DD's harvest festival (her first term in Foundation...) & he made such a fuss I had to leave & only managed to glimpse her song. And that pretty much sums up everything we do....

Swimming? we have to rush off after about 10 minutes because DS is kicking off...
Football? we have to leave because DS is screeching & crying trying to take the ball away
Playgroup? He just dislikes it.

School pick ups are THE WORST. I have one at 1pm & one at 3:30. Both involve a huge tantrum in the playground (I get friends to do most of them...)

I do realise that kids don't HAVE to love the park & feeding ducks & going on swings - but unfortunately my other 2 DO like doing those things. And DS is part of a family that have stuff to do...

Anyway - it's been years since I've written on here (the last time was about br-feeding my now 7 year old!) but I feel like this one is pushing me over the edge. My head is pounding, my eyes are red from crying & I'm KNACKERED. (I also feel really bad now coz he's being so cute saying "what doin mummy?" so sweetly)

Are there any answers? Will it ever end? I feel like he has been like this since the day he came out. I honestly can't keep going like this....

So sorry you feel so terrible

Not sure on advice - will have a think. Just didn't want to read and run x

Thank you!

does he get any time just you and him? doing stuff?

I'll be honest and say that tantrumming while at football/park/feeding ducks would get my 2 year old NOWHERE.
maybe he does it because it gets your attention and you fuss over him and then he gets to do what he wants?

If mine tantrum while out and it's somewhere I don't want to leave (ie, if the other 2 are playing at the park) then he gets strapped into the buggy and ignored until he calms down.
I will try and distract, but if he is full-on screaming then I ignore.

I know that doesn't work in some situations, like the harvest festival. But generally it's a fairly good technique. it teaches him that tantrumming is no way to get your attention, and it shows your older kids that you won't be ruled by their younger brother.

Saying all that, there is one other thought that came to mind which is that it could be food related? A friend with a very miserable, grumpy, tantrummy toddler found that he was intolerant to milk. cutting it out made a new child!
I had similar with ds2 who, as a baby was incredibly miserable, he just cried and cried and cried all the time... cut out milk and egg- bingo!

He sounds a lot like my DD. I remember feeling just like you do now when she was 2. I basically avoided taking her out to public places as she was so bad I could do this as I didn't have older children to look after, I understand you don't have that choice.

I tried the strapping into buggy ignoring thing that thisisyesterday suggested but it didn't work, she would just scream and scream endlessly. She literally could go for over an hour. And she wouldn't stop even though she knew it wouldn't work.

But I don't believe she screaming for attention, she was screaming because she had emotions that she couldn't control (even if it was something like frustration). But yes, she was worse when hungry or tired.

All I can say is DD got a lot better when she was 3 or 4. She rarely tantrums now, but is she's still a complete drama queen in other ways.

Is he better behaved when your other children are at school?