4.5 year old suddenly wetting several times a day. Seems to be deliberate.

[Georgimama]

Title says it all really. DS is 4.5 and has been dry day and night for about two years. He is still dry at night and isn't soiling. He is wetting two or three times a day, usually when absorbed in something.

Unfortunately I am convinced it is deliberate attention seeking due to arrival of DD three weeks ago. I have tried asking him to go to the toilet frequently but he kicks up a huge fuss and refuses. Will then find him with a damp patch between the legs a few minutes later.

Feel for him that his nose is obviously out of joint (even though he is actually getting just as much attention as usual - DD eats and sleeps) but am so at his deliberate naughtiness. What on earth do I do?

I think you just have to ignore it. He is probably feeling very sad and confused (I was three when my sister was born!) and on some level wants you to get angry so he can feel rejected and also get attention and heaven knows what...

Briskly offer him a pull-up?

I know I am being mean to be cross and I am trying to not to go down that route (after last incident was discovered he said "that's it I'm leaving this house, I'm always getting the stupid blame!" which did make me do that twisty mouth thing where you're trying not to laugh) but it's so frustrating. I did suggest nappies and he said "I'm not a baby!" in tones of disgust.

He starts school in two weeks. I don't want him to be laughed at by the other children .

Perhaps just say briskly he won't be able to do it at school? I bet he doesn't do it at school, you know. (D'you think he's also worried about that, and about the fact he has to be a big boy while his sister is a baby, and so on?)

DD did this for a bit, never at school as MI says. Seemed to be down to just not being bothered to go to loo until it was too late.

We did a sticker chart with a sticker at the end of every day she kept dry pants, suitable bribe after ten stickers. Worked OK... slight problem in that if she did wet, then she knew she wasn't going to get a sticker that day, and just carried on peeing in her pants all day. Sigh.