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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Jo Frost tonight... I have tried all the advice, no good!

13 replies

sarahbeth2 · 06/07/2011 21:39

For anyone who saw the child who is angry at bedtime. I have an angry daught who is lovely but just loses it. I have tried all the advice and we are consistent and firm with her but to no avail. I get attacked and screamed at she is like a wild animal.
Any advice? ;(

ps she is lovely too its mainly when i say no to something or she has to have things done in a certain order...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Gastonladybird · 06/07/2011 21:43

How old is she? What's daytime routine like (any naps, is she at pre school or nursery). What is bedtime routine like

Original poster

sarahbeth2 · 06/07/2011 21:51

She is 3, not at pre school as yet but i go to groups etc. Daytime no naps as she has way too much energy if she slept for 10 mins she would not go to bed on the night!
She has a bath,story and bed for 7pm but can play in her room until 8pm if she wants to..
She has always been a handfull bless ;)

OP posts:

nannynick · 06/07/2011 21:53

Didn't watch it, so no idea what Jo Frost may have suggested.

It is very hard to given advice without seeing the child in action. What I will say though is that you need to look at what triggers the behaviour which you don't like and then try to avoid those triggers if they are avoidable.

Problems at bedtime can be due to children being overtired. So have you tried starting things earlier in the evening? Is the bedtime routine fairly consistent?

Gastonladybird · 06/07/2011 21:55

Agree with nanny nick that hard to say but based on ds of same age I would say could be over tired. She gets violent and tantrumy. Can you move bedtime back or have some quiet time on middle of day if not a nap.

fuzzpig · 06/07/2011 21:58

was this a new episode? (don't have tv)

nannynick · 06/07/2011 21:59

I care for a 3 year old and he goes to bed around 7.30pm... no daytime nap. So time wise it sounds about right.

Where are you actually getting a problem... could you explain more?

Original poster

sarahbeth2 · 06/07/2011 22:01

Oh sorry, confused things! Dont have a problem at bedtime, just throughout the day in general lol. Looked at the triggers already done that but this doesnt help i mean a trigger could be me saying 'please dont do that' or could you pack your toys away now to me putting the wrong song on in the car, putting her toilet seat out at the wrong time, not cutting her toast up in triangles when yesturday she wanted squares, going down the stairs infront of her when she wanted me to stay upstairs (although she doesnt ask me that just screams and i wonder what the hell i have done wrong), pushing her on the swing when she has asked me to in the first placed but screaming saying dont push me...

arrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

nannynick · 06/07/2011 22:09

not cutting her toast up in triangles when yesturday she wanted squares

Oh yes, I get that one. Just accept that you can't win... if you want them to eat, do it as they tell you, even if that means you have to do it twice.

They seem to change their mind a lot at this age. Sometimes I feel it may be down to us giving them too many choices, or any choice at all and they get overwhelmed - make a choice and then decide something else.

Give prior warning about changes, such as the need to put things away. "in five minutes we will put the bricks away, then go out in the car" that sort of thing... so they know what's going to happen.

Don't put the wrong song / story on in the car! Take the easy option, put what they want on!

piprabbit · 06/07/2011 22:12

What time does your DD get up in the morning?

merrilyverily · 06/07/2011 23:16

my dd had become quite like this - aged 3.6, but have enrolled her in a nursery for a couple of sessions a week and the tantrums are so much less. I hadn't really made the connection until I read your comments, but maybe she was a bit bored and frustrated and ready to have more contact with other children without me being around. she settled in really quickly and loves it. Think it is a good environment for her to learn that sometimes its no and she can't always be first.

PrettyMeerkat · 07/07/2011 08:53

a trigger could be me saying 'please dont do that' or could you pack your toys away now to me putting the wrong song on in the car, putting her toilet seat out at the wrong time, not cutting her toast up in triangles when yesturday she wanted squares, going down the stairs infront of her when she wanted me to stay upstairs (although she doesnt ask me that just screams and i wonder what the hell i have done wrong), pushing her on the swing when she has asked me to in the first placed but screaming saying dont push me...

Mines like that. She is now 5 and still difficult. I have no idea what the answer is except to be strong and take no shit, but to give choice when you can (what clothes she wears or something, give 2 options).

Original poster

sarahbeth2 · 07/07/2011 12:06

Sorry the internet went down last night. I do give prior warning to things so nothing is a surprise.
Also when you say - Don't put the wrong song / story on in the car! Take the easy option, put what they want on!
i dont know its the 'wrong song' until she screams and i have no idea what the hell ive done wrong.
I am strong, no means no and she has reward charts etc so we are consistent but nothing seems to pentrate ;(

OP posts:

PrettyMeerkat · 07/07/2011 12:31

sarahbeth2 I know what you mean about not knowing it's wrong until you've done it. For mine it was often walking the wrong way down the road for eg. I don't want to them walk the way she says, for a start it wouldn't take me where I needed to go, but alo do we want to be pandering to their whims? All that does is let them control you and pull on your puppet strings. They can't get their own way ALL the time.

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