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Original poster

Copying DH's cousin's name?

29 replies

JosephineClaire · 13/04/2010 16:11

Is it OK to give our baby the same name as DH's cousin?

If it was my cousin, it'd be fine as I have 26 first cousins and we're always recycling names in my family, so it's no big deal

But DH's family is small (only 3 cousins) and the cousin in question is only 7 yrs old...not 30 like DH. So even though it's technically the next generation, it doesn't feel like it.

We only see DH's aunt, uncle and cousins 2-3 times a year, which is why I am considering it as a yes - although DH's Mum and sisters see them more frequently..

Do you think DH's aunt and uncle will be unhappy we've 'copied' their DD's name, and will the 7 yr old be annoyed or indifferent?

Opinions/experiences welcome

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ilovesprouts · 13/04/2010 16:16

nobody owns a name , by the way what is the name !

Original poster
JosephineClaire · 13/04/2010 16:19

Matilda

OP posts:
SpicedGerkin · 13/04/2010 16:22

Are you using it because they have? If not you aren't copying them.

If the 7 year old is annoyed because someone has the same name as her she's in for a world of trouble as she grows up.

Original poster
JosephineClaire · 13/04/2010 16:24

I just love the name - DH says it'll be fine, I just feel like we'll get some comments for not being more original and causing confusion

OP posts:
Collision · 13/04/2010 16:25

use it if you like it

CheerfulYank · 13/04/2010 16:29

Will they see each other often?

MrsJohnDeere · 13/04/2010 16:30

I don't see the problem. Dh shares a name with his (much younger) cousin, and he only has 2 cousins. It has never been a problem. At family gatherings they are known as Big X and Little X.

ozmetric · 13/04/2010 16:44

Names are not copyrighted. Use it if you like it

SpicedGerkin · 13/04/2010 16:50

You'll get comments no matter what the name, all to be ignored tbh

TheOldestCat · 13/04/2010 16:58

Ah use it; as others have said - no-one owns a name. And Matilda is beautiful.

By the way, I like your name as my DD is Josephine Clare too.

Original poster
JosephineClaire · 13/04/2010 17:02

Really? I've never met/heard of another Josephine Claire/Clare!

We like Matilda Claire, as Claire is also my best friend's name

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LadyintheRadiator · 13/04/2010 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skidoodly · 13/04/2010 17:24

Yeah fuck it if a 7 year old is upset. Who cares about a child's feelings? they are worthless

op why don't you ask the existing Matilda what she thinks? I bet she'll think it's a great idea, especially if you tell her the new baby will be called after her

LadyintheRadiator · 13/04/2010 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpicedGerkin · 13/04/2010 18:14

'Yeah fuck it if a 7 year old is upset. Who cares about a child's feelings? they are worthless'

Should we check with all children we come into contact with that share a name we might like? Or is it just those classed as family thats feelings matter?

ilovesprouts · 13/04/2010 20:56

matilda is lovely go for it

livviloo · 14/04/2010 20:51

I think it depends on how often will you see them? so unless you can shorten them to 2 different things(matty and tilda for eg) it will be confusing. If you don't see them that often it probable isn't an issue.
My DS has a very similar name to his cousin and there is an 8 year gap. He is bothered by it as he says its confusing, but we look after my nephew a fair bit.
I find it slightly embarrassing when people stare at me thinking I have given my children ridiculous similar names. This obviously would be less of an issue if they were identical.
So in summary, it might be polite to ask if it is ok, if it's not I think you need to respect that especially if you see them often. If you are likely to be calling"Matilda and Matilda" out in the playground/park will you feel a fool?

Original poster
JosephineClaire · 14/04/2010 21:33

We usually see them 2-3 times a year, so I don't think it'll be a problem. Also, I think we'd call her Tilly as a nickname, so that could save confusion when we're with them

I will definitely get DH to check with them though, I wouldn't like to upset anyone

OP posts:
Magaly · 15/04/2010 09:42

That's fine I think. It's a different generation. I think it's trickier if you use somebody else's CHOICE iyswim.

Magaly · 15/04/2010 09:44

ps, I mean somebody in your own generation's choice.

also, as you/he have 26 cousins, there will be slack cut

I had Lydia on my list, and my cousin had already called his dd that, but as I was amongst the youngest on both sides they had all already had children. I had 32 cousins,a nd about 20 of them had had children fairly recently.

There would have been UNDerstanding!!!!! (if a name was doubled up_)

BoggleJunior · 15/04/2010 10:02

I wouldn't.

My friend was called baby Thomas and there was already a seven-year-old cousin Thomas.

At birth, they hadn't seen that much of each other but then big Thomas' family moved nearer to little Thomas'.

Baby Thomas and baby Thomas's brother could not manage to understand it and got very upset. So at about the age of three they had to give up and call baby Thomas by his middle name, Albert, which they had NEVER meant to be a name he used all the time.

So while I don't think it is wrong, per se, I do think you are setting yourself up for risk.

KAEKAE · 16/04/2010 19:37

I probably wouldn't - I used to like Amelia and then my DPs cousin named their child it.....we never see them but it totally put me off. I didn't want when she was born "oh you named her after X" or Oh the same name as X" . There's so many names out there to choose from. In the end we opted for a different name and I am so glad we did.

GladioliBuckets · 17/04/2010 15:32

Is it really and truly you favourite name in the whole world? If not, I wouldn't bother.

I think it's ok if the cousin is known as Mattie and yours would be known as Tilly or vice versa. Although I guess Big M and Little M would do for meetups. And they won't have the same surname will they? Because that would really piss me off if I was her mum.

mummytime · 17/04/2010 15:44

I knew two cousins at my DDs school who had the same first name and surname, and in the same year (different classes). I did wonder about that. The name was not a usual name either.

My youngest DD has the same name as a girl we know/knew (and happens to have the same surname). I had run out of names I liked so it had to be that one. The older girl (now 15?) helps at a group DD goes to, and they quite like having the same name. It has given them a bond.

Original poster
JosephineClaire · 18/04/2010 15:51

They don't have the same surname GladioliBuckets - 7 yr old is called Matilda or Tobba (not sure where the nn came from!) and we'd call our DD Tilly

Mummytime, thanks for your msg too. Our kids wouldn't be cousins, they'd be second cousins(?) but not sure if that matters

Still can't decide, it all needs a lot more thought... thanks for all the feedback though, it's much appreciated

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