please help with a naming "situation"!

[pinkmook]

Hi, just wanted to get some other opinions on the situation we are in WRT baby names.

We are due to have DD in June and would like to call our DD Kitty (shortened form of Katherine) as this was my grandads mums name.

However our neighbours have a 6 yr old ccalled Kitty also. We see quite a bit of them and Kitty and their other DC's play with my DS - they are all in and out of each others houses all the time.

So, would you call your new baby the same name as nieghbours daughter? I'm worried how it will come across and dont really want to pitch up explaiining the connection to our family.

Also, no - one else I have ever met/known in RL has this name so it does seem a bit like we have "copied" them - Oh I know this all sounds very silly but I just wondered what others thought even if you do think IM being a bit silly!

Thanks for reading the waffle!

Why don't you want to tell them? I think that would be the first thing you need to do, and sound them out about it - you have every right to use it, it's a family name - they will be fine about it if they know this. If you don't tell them, they might well think it is a bit weird.

I suppose because althoug their DC's pla here etc, they are not overly friendly IYSWIM. We live on a small, very quiet, new build estate where it is safe for DC's to roam about between the 6 houses on our cul de sac. We dont have a chatty relationship just a knocking on the door - is X here? wave hello when we see them type of relattionship. Not even sure she knows Im PG!

PLus she is a bit of a scary character - very forthright and dare I say it - a little bit snobby?

Now convincing myself to just think up another name!

That sounds a bit tricky, yes.

But it's not your problem. I think it would be very sad if you didn't use Kitty because of her. iyswim

Thank you Lockets! it is a lovely name

Fliight it would be a shame but like you say its probably going to look weird if I do it without explaining - and I cant face explaining!

I know a Kitty - I think it's a fab name. I would mention it beforehand but would present it as a fait accompli and make light of it. In the unlikely event that 'er next doors raises her eyebrows then you can mention the family connection, which kind of gives you a prior claim. I agree that it's a shame not to use a name that you love just because the neighbours have it. Years from now it won't be an issue and your daughter will have the name you wanted.

I'm wondering whether the pg hormones might be getting to you a little, as I'm really struggling to see why explaining you've named your DD after her great-grandmother is a big deal?

Yes, it's a lovely name. Katherine would definitely have been on our short list if we had a DD, as you can have so many variants of it that we like. The chances of you and this neighbour continuing to be neighbours for many years are actually reasonably slim, so I certainly wouldn't change my choice of name for that personally.

Good luck with your DD, whatever you decide to call her .

Are you likely to always live next to them? Do you think that the kids might play apart more as they get older anyway - and there are 6 years between the two Kittys....?

Would you use Katherine on the bc and then just introduce her as Kitty?

Isitme - yes I think thats a fair assumption - pregnancy hormones are very slghtly crazy ATM

Prinpo - I think I will have to engineer a situation where I mention it now, have not actually seen her face to face in weeks though so may be a bit difficult!

Thanks for the replies - has helped me get it in persepctive through hormone haze

Lovethesea - I cant see us moving in the near future - nor them. I would have Katherine on BC and intro as Kitty like you say - just worried she's going to think a) Im some mad stalker type weirdo or b) be a bit sneery/annoyed/smug about us "copying" (even though we know its not)

harumph! I wish they'd just move! LOL!

Its Katherine shortened to Kitty

I guess so! Am finding it hard to make even minor decisions at the moment! Thanks again

I wouldn't worry - it doesn't sound like you are close friends, in a few years your kids probably won't even play together. Just mention it lightheartedly in a 'ooh, isn't that a coincidence' kind of way. Perhaps when your kids are playing you could start a conversation about baby names and then say, 'it's funny, we've always said we'd use the name Kitty if we have a girl - it was my great-grandmother's name.'

Alternatively, tell her the baby's name is Katherine and just refer to her as Kitty among your family/friends?

I would still use it, especially given the age gap - yours will just be "Baby Kitty" then "Little Kitty" to them.

No - def not close friends - interesting point I could just say Katherine to them. Really I suppose its none of their business! But I dont want to seem weird for using the name

Catherine nn Kitty is top of my list atm so I definitely approve.

I think the chances that you will still be living next door to "big Kitty" in a few years' time are pretty remote. Your Kitty will just be "Kitty".

I also like SqueezyB's suggestion of a remote family connection so you can say "Not after your Kitty, although she did remind us..."

Do use it if you really like and want the name!

OK, neither of you might be moving imminently, but who's to say where either of you will be living in 5 or 10 years? It'd be a shame to forego the name for a reason that may not even exist sooner than you think.

Tell them, if you have to, that her name is Katherine. She's a baby and will be for some time. It's not as if you have to refer to her as Kitty in front of them for quite a few years.

If and when you do reveal the name, use her full name and just drop in that she is named after your great grandmother. I really can't imagine your neighbour would read anything into it.

Go for it. It's a beautiful, classic name, it's not copyrighted, and you're possibly not going to be neighbours forever.

5DollarShake and mathanxiety - thank you feeling much more confident about using it now!

Are they next door neighbours? Might be a little bit much if they were.
When I was pregnant with dc2 I discovered that a neighbour was considering the same name. She obviously considered me so insignificant in her long term life plan that my having the same name on my list as her didn't phase her in the slightest. And she was right, because I moved, and then a while later she moved too.

I do feel relatives shouldn't duplicate names though. Jmo

You HAVE to tell them, otherwise they will be angry. It depends if you can convince them that you arent copying them- no matter what you say, they might think you are.

she is 3 doors away from me and her dd is 6 or 7 now so unlikely they will play together. JUst a bit embarrasing really but as others have said its not a vastly unusual name, we are not close friends , would not keep in touch if she moved so I guess I could use it - just feel a bit uncomfortable I suppose

I'd just say to her, look, we won't always live right beside each other, but Kitty will always have been my Grandma's name and I'll regret not using it when we move.

I know of two Kittys. Not loads I know but it's not like, I don't know........ Hyacinth.