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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Not your usual BN question - if you married but didn't take dh's surname, what surname did you give your dc's?

42 replies

phdlife · 10/03/2009 12:21

We gave ds dh's surname, because it sounded right with the first names we'd chosen, but if #2 is a dd we're thinking about giving her my surname.

Anyone else done anything like this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

oopsagain · 10/03/2009 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Nancy66 · 10/03/2009 12:32

I think you should give your kids the same surname. Firstly, as they grow, they are going to question why they have different names and perhaps imagine that it means the one with mum's name is favoured by mum and vice versa. I think it sends out a negative message.

Secondly, people who don't know the family will assume they have different fathers.

Original poster

phdlife · 10/03/2009 12:32

thanks oops, I can understand that

OP posts:

Original poster

phdlife · 10/03/2009 12:37

well I'm not too concerned about assumptions made by people who don't know us.

Icelandic dc's have different surnames - ds's are "ds dhsson" and dd's are "dd dwdottir", right? So what exactly is negative about that?

OP posts:

oopsagain · 10/03/2009 12:38

oh, yes, how confused would they be with different sirnames, I didn't even think about that.

my boys jsut loive being each other's brother. They have a real group feeling somehow- it would be sad if they had differnet names.

Oh and don't do the double barrel conciet.

Fine for this generation, but what happens when they meet and breed with another double barrel- how many sirnames for their kids?

it's all maaaad

HecatesTwopenceworth · 10/03/2009 12:41

my sister gave her daughter Hername-Hisname

so she's Mrs Hername, which I think is odd (ARE YOU READING THIS??!! ) cos she's not married to my bloody DAD!

her husband is Mr Hisname

their daughter is little miss Hername-Hisname.

We're all Hisname, cos frankly, mine was shit and I couldn't wait to dump it for something more 'exotic'

BCLass · 10/03/2009 12:48

We are married.

I am Ms Myname, dh is Dr hisname, dd is Miss myname-hisname. Surely that is only sensible?

And when/if she has babies, she can choose whichever name she fancies to give them. I think the Spanish/Portuguese have a system for which name is passed on?

I don't really care what other people think, it's none of their business.

hermionegrangerat34 · 10/03/2009 12:51

We are married and all (me, dh and dcs) are hisname-myname.
Seemed to be the sensible way forward (we got married young so hadn't already established careers in our own names: would have kept own names and done as BClass if we'd married later I think).

changer22 · 10/03/2009 13:04

I am married and kept my name. Our DCs have my name as a middle, DH's as a surname. I didn't mind them having his surname but I wanted to keep mine.

Loads of friends use our names as double barreled e.g. if they are talking about us collectively.

The poet Dannie Abse's grandchildren had their mother's surname if they were girls, father's if they were boys. Just showing off my trivia!

I think it probably makes it easier having the same surname at school and TBH, with 1 DS and 2 DDs I would hate there to be a clique mentality between the females and the males of the family. DS isn't good enough to have my name but the girls are? and vice versa.

lal123 · 10/03/2009 13:08

we're not married and DD has his name. I don't see the problem.

Mumcentreplus · 10/03/2009 13:11

I am married and too lazy to change my name to his tbh... but my DDs are both his name ...I've decided to change on our 10th anniversary as a gift

beanieb · 10/03/2009 13:14

I have told my OH that I will be keeping my name when we marry, won't be changing my passport or how I am known at work. If we have kids they will have his name and I will refer to myself as Mrs hisname to their schools, doctors etc but still won't change my work email etc. Might change my passport if we have kids so we all have the name if we travel.

RubyRioja · 10/03/2009 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jennifersofia · 10/03/2009 13:16

We are married. I kept my surname. Dc have 1 first name, 2 middle names (2nd middle name is my surname) and dh's surname. For most purposes they just use their first name and dh's surname.

UpSinceCrapOClock · 10/03/2009 13:16

I kept my surname after marriage and our children took dh's surname. Would have been nice for them to have had my surname as well as dh's but my surname is a double-barrelled name and, well, along with middle names etc it just would have been cruel. Sometimes I think it would be nice for me to have the same surname as dh and the children but, ach well, it's not like people call us by our surnames is it? I mean it only really comes up on letters from the bank, passport etc.

deckchair · 10/03/2009 13:32

Upon marriage I added my husbands name to my own (no hyphen) This means that sometimes i am Ms myname, sometimes I am Mrs hisname and sometimes I am Mrs myname hisname.
Both surnames are fairly unusual so I always know it's me!
DC have 2 middle names, 2nd middle name is my surname. Usually known by their first name and dh surname.

oopsagain · 10/03/2009 13:37

i got too confused about baks and work and who was to be paid by work.
I found i was ms myname professionally and was paid into ms hisname accounts which made it hard when things went wrong

so then i had 2 accounts and then i didn't know whatto do when i renewed my passport.
and then a cheque bounced

and then i thought what the fuck- i dpn't care enough about this-
i'm stil a feisty as hell re womens' issues etc and this whole name business is actualy making my life more complicated.

so we were eother all going to picka brabd new surname..
but then the kids knew their names and would get mighltyy confused.

So i jsut changed everything inot hisname.
and now i have more time for recaliming the night, womens' book group and everything else

LaundryFairy · 10/03/2009 13:39

I didn't change my name after marriage - I was Ms. Laundry Fairy before and after I got married. DS has my surname as a second middle name (hyphenated didn't appeal). I wanted to have my surname in there somewhere in case I was travelling alone with him to help avoid being questioned by immigration people etc...

Mammina · 10/03/2009 18:39

I didn't change my name, DCs will all have DH's surname. I'm welsh, DH is not, so the deal was that DCs had his surname and a welsh first name

PrimulaVeris · 10/03/2009 18:50

I kept my name on marriage

When we had dc's I was quite happy for them to have dh's name - part tradition but quite honestly because his surname is nicer and more unusual than mine. Certainly didn't fancy a double-barrelled name. Did consider my surname as a middle name but it just doesn't work.

elvislives · 10/03/2009 18:56

We are all myname-hisname

BlondePanther · 10/03/2009 18:57

I also kept my name on marriage. dh stayed as hisname. dd is Miss myname-hisname. Wanted very much to be able to pass myname on, as I am one of 3 daughters.

edam · 10/03/2009 18:59

I kept my name, ds has my surname. I was going to register him with both surnames and work out which one to use everyday (or both) later but dh decided he didn't like his name anyway and didn't see the point in passing it on.

It causes the odd raised eyebrow as we live in dullsville surburbia but doesn't bother any of us.

mrspnut · 10/03/2009 19:00

I am not married but the children both have my name, and even if we were to get married we'd all keep the names we have.

sunshineday · 10/03/2009 20:54

When we got married I kept my name, dc have my name and dh took my name also. works for us

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