Does a name suit a child or will the child suit the name?

[SAEJ]

I keep seeing comments on threads about names 'suiting' a baby, for example, children not having the charisma to pull off an unusual name or sturdy kids called delicate names.

My question is - how do you decide if your baby will suit their name??? If they weigh over a certain amount at birth does that mean that they can't have some names? Too weedy for some or too big for others????

Is it ever possible to know what sort of child you baby will grow into so you can give them an apt name?

Does anyone think that babies grow into their names or develop charachteristics in ine with their name in a sort of social conditioning from their parents E.g. I always imagine Scarletts to be feisty - if I name my daughter Scarlett will she grow up that way because I expect her to??????

I had trouble with that one too

in the end we went for classic names that didn't have strong associations with particular personality types

I only know feisty Scarletts, but I also only know feisty Graces - not a wispy dreamer among them.

When I was pregnant with DD1, we had a girl name and a boy name we really liked. When she was born, we gave her the name we had chosen for her.

When I was pregnant with DS2 we thought about boys name and strangely enough the one we had loved so much when I was first pregnant did not get mentionned at all.

When DS3 was born, the only name I could think of was the boy's name we had in our very first list with DD1. why did we not want to call DS2 that name, I will never know, maybe because it was not "his" name to be given?

I agree with you that at birth a child is an unknown quantity, so it's difficult to know whether a name you choose then is likely to suit them later. I think the best you can do is look at yourself & your partner and imagine that a future child is likely to be similar to the two of you in terms of build and personality.

However, I do think that names are very important for the child's self-image and also affect what other people think/expect.

There are various sociological studies which appear to suggest a link between the name of a child and his/her outcome. Studies in America for example have shown that African-American kids called traditional names e.g. Catherine, David are significantly more likely to do well at school & go to university than those with unusual names e.g. Shaquiiila, Jamiriqui (even when adjusted for family income/background etc.) It's not clear whether the reason for this is that the teachers have higher expectations of the children with the traditional names and so push them further; or whether it's because the parents choosing traditional names have more conservative expectations and so value education more....but the effect is there nonetheless.

In the UK there have been various studies indicating that if you want your child to be popular at school, give them a popular name. Like it or not, a name does affect people's expectations (what would you expect from someone called Augustus? Or Malcolm?)

It's a tricky issue - so good luck!

We chose our baby names before they were born- not sure you can tell from looking at a scrunched up newborn what they will end up looking like.

We just chose "normal" ie common names for ours- we didn't want them to be judged differently or teased because of an unusual name. Currently thinking of a name for DS2 due in May!

Oh, and I think they both suit their names too although they had/have many silly nicknames too!

when we had DS1 we had long decided what to call a boy and had actually been calling him that name in the womb.
But when he was born DH and I imediatelysaid "oh God that name doesn't suit him - he needs to be called paglet"

It was very odd.
We had clearly annoyed the God of babies names and got it all wrong.
the name we chose 2nd suits him still

I think that a name does shape the way a child will become, but then a certain type of parent will use a certain type of name and having that type of parent will be the most overriding factor in how the child will turn out iyswim
IE The sort of parent to call the child Zappa Moon Unit etc will mean that the child will be a celeb by nature anyway!
Same with classic conservative parents/name IE Elizabeth Jane etc

People often comment on my DD3's Irish looks. She looks nothing like my DH and I and nothing like DSD, DD1 or DS. She is a total throwback to my Irish ancestry (thats been throughly diluted by English & Polish blood) which is why I originally choose her name....to reflect that ancestry. Funniest thing ever? I named her when i was 9 weeks pregnant with her!

a throwback? sounds like a tail not red hair .

We didn't name DS until he arrived, for some reason we had 2 very definite girls' names but nothing for a boy.

I liked trying the names on him and it was the right way to do it for us. I did panic a bit when he was 2 days old that we'd never manage to agree on a name and he'd be nameless forever but we got there in the end.

Funnily enough I've gone off both the girls' names and wouldn't use them if we ever had a DD.