Same name as second cousin....who I've never met

[nicholar]

Due in a few days and we have a list of names picked out but one is definitely at the top of the list.
Today my OH mentions that he just remembered that his cousins daughter is named that so we can't have it.
I've never met these cousins and have only heard them mentioned once in 3 years!
Would you still go for that name or name her something else?

I'd still go for it. That's a really tenuous link. In fact, I've only just noticed since I started typing this that my nephew (my brother's son) has the same name as our cousin's son. It's never been an issue. They've never met.

My family is full of family names. I think it's fine.

It really doesn't matter. My child has the same as my cousin who we see regularly. There are other same-names between uncles and nephews/ aunts nieces in my family too. See each other regularly. Not an issue.

My family is full of family names. It seems fine to me :)

My daughter has the same gender-natural name as my cousins son, so DDs second cousin. They are each other very occassionally at large family get together.

It never even occurred to me it was a problem.

I do also like my cousins name, but I wouldn't use that for my child. That seems too much of a close relation.

It happens all the time in my family - we're overrun with Catherines at the minute . My niece has exactly the same names - first and surname as a second cousin. We didn't realise until the kids were about 2 - I think we've all been in the same place about twice in the past five years.

Is it a top 10 type name and really common so its used a lot anyway or is it a family name which you both decided to keep going?

If its a common one, are you really sure you want to name your child it and have them have to use their surname in school to distinguish them from all the others with the same first name?

I have one child with a common name and one child with a rare name, and as its a few years later, I can safely say I am much happier with the rare name than the common name for many reasons.

That's a complete non issue.

My DS has a first name from my side of the family (there are 2 living members, both adults, with the same name) and a middle name that's on both sides - and then my surname as another middle name. So his two middle names are the same full name as one of my cousins e.g. if I'm a Smith and DH is a Jones then DS is Rupert Arthur Smith Jones and my cousin's an Arthur Smith.

And my DD has a first name from DH's side and again middle name from both sides so she's Fenella Ermentrude Smith Jones and my mother is Ermentrude Smith.

My DS is tickled that he shares his "Rupert" with other family members and tells everyone that he's got the same name as X relative (who in fact goes by "Roo").

No it's not a common name as such. Think it's around no 40 in the top name lists.
I'm glad others don't seem to think it matters either! I don't want my decision swayed by some cousin that has never been mentioned before!

Go for the name you've chosen. It's fine :-)

My son has the same name as my cousins son. I don't see her very often but she (and her son!) think it's cool. I'd go for it!

My niece chose the same first name as my DS, I thought it was lovely actually. They are known as big x and little x or Maiden's x and Maiden's Niece's x.

It doesn't matter a jot, go for it OP !

Why would the name of someone you've never met matter? Don't worry about it

I have cousins with the same name (I have a metric shit ton of cousins and cousins children). Even when they meet it's just a moment of ooh both the Emma's together (not actual name), it's not a problem

DH has the first name as his second cousin but they hardly ever see each other and go by different names (e.g. Timothy and Tim, names changed)

It's never caused a problem but DH is older and had the name first so it does annoy MIL a bit

If you love the name I'd go for it personally

So tenuous you needn't worry about it - go for it.

If they have different surnames it isn't even an issue.

My son shares a name with my second cousin. It didn't even occur to me until my parent mentioned it.

My cousin gave his daughter ( 9 years younger than me) the same name as me. We also had, until marriage, the same surname. I was named after my father's granny who was also her father's great granny, she was named after her mother's granny. Nobody batted an eyelid. I am known as Louise and she is Lou.

I know a brother and sister who both used the same name for their ds. Quite a popular name. No one thinks it's strange. They are two completely different personalities. And about 7/8 years apart in age.

I would use it for sure. I see my cousins about once a year (it was multiple times a year when we were young) and I'd still use the same name as they have if I loved it.

It's fair enough to rule out names used by siblings and best friends, but if you start casting that net any wider, you just end up with an endless list of names you can't use - it'd be ridiculous.

My DH has three first cousins with the same name.

I personally wouldn't use the same first name, but my family see each other a lot so the second cousins would be together a lot. We do have three second cousins with very similar middle names, as the children have all been named after our grandfather so have variations of his name (one Charles, one Charlie, one Charlotte) as middle names, but different first names.

If there is going to be no/very little contact then it wouldn't occur to me not to use the name, especially if it was a name I loved.