grr this is meant to be fun and exciting not upsetting!

[eggybrokenoff]

really struggling to name ds3 and its getting me down. ds1 name I was always a little unsure of, middle mnane certain and now I love it. ds2 named very early mainly dh choice but I was really happy with it again middle name certain. this time nothing seems quite right. I had a name I liked but have gone off cos know another one and cant seem to get away from that. another name I like is a real marmite name and I know some people will hate it. another I love sounds weird with our surname. cant come up with anything else and cant choose which family middle name to use til first name is decided.

it is really bugging me. I want I name I am totally in love with from day one for this baby. its the last time and I dont want a 'grower' name.

I hear you, but a grower name is better than an oh fuck I hate it name.

Can you tell us the ones you have?

I agree with Rootypig -- 'What have I dooooonnnnnne?' is not the question you want to ask a few years down the road.

What do you and DH have so far on your list?

wilbur is the name that is taken, otis is marmite, noah we love but sounds weird with our surname.

and I do really like ds names now after a few years.. was worried they were boring and too common at the time but doesnt seem to matter now

How about Wilfred instead of Wilbur and Otto instead of Otis.

Go for Otis if your only worry is that other people wont like it. Tough! We have a marmite name picked for dd2 (if she is a dd), and my thought is that as long as we love it thats all that matters.

let it be a grower to others.

Which do you love more, Wilbur or Otis, forgetting other child if you can, and other people's reactions?

In a perfect world, other people's reactions don't matter. But I think, as someone who gets a lot of when I say DD's name, it can really shake you if you're not sure

Though Hummingbird is right, for the people who know your DC, it will grow, it always does, because they will love the child

dunno if that was remotely helpful

it always used yo be wilbur. was always my name and we always said we would use it for a ds3. but now I dont know. aaaarrghh!

It may not seem like it but once a child is named and becomes so strongly associated with a name all the other Wilburs will recede into just a distant memory. Don't let a flimsy association put you off a name

How did you decide on other DC's names? does it help to imagine a 5 year old Wilbur, or 12 year old Wilbur, or a 24 year old Wilbur?

Fwiw I think it's actually a pretty safe choice in some sense, because he can always be Will if you or he doesn't like the full name. Otis is a bit more all or nothing.

And Sara makes a great point, the perception of this other child will fade once your DC arrives. If that's your only reservation I would go for it. And if you have loved the name for a long time pre pregnancy name pressure, then that's a positive sign too

Is it that you are friends or related to the parents of the other Wilbur, or do you not like the the other Wilbur?

If the name has been 'taken' by friends or relatives then I would avoid it. If it has a negative connotation because you don't like the other Wilbur then I would also be inclined to avoid it, although I do see the point that this would your Wilbur and that might make a difference -- I'm just pretty sure in my own case that if I didn't like a person or had a bad experience with them I would avoid their name.

I think baby names are so,so hard.

Have you got time op? Maybe leave it off now and come back to choosing. Could just be a bit of over thinking. If you always liked it, I would go for it.

This: 'let it be a grower to others' is such good advice - as long as you truly love the name that's all that really matters