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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Keeping baby names a secret!

35 replies

sjclarke86 · 21/03/2013 16:49

I don't want to tell anyone any names that we even like. We told brother in law last night that we liked Primrose, he said it sounded like an air freshener!!! Ggrr. Then suggested Mary and Sue!! (Not us at all) and I am such a pushover I just say yeah they're ok. My mother in law is even worse, and I'm even more of a push over with her! I leave her house thinking why did I agree with everything she said and really I think the opposite !!

What did you do ? Did you discuss with people or keep it to yourselves?

OP posts:

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SoupDreggon · 21/03/2013 16:52

I kept them to myself.

IHeartKingThistle · 21/03/2013 16:55

Never breathed a word.

Beatrixpotty · 21/03/2013 16:56

Each told 2-3 friends.Not parents or siblings.They knew the sex so had to leave some surprises.Also if choose something even slightly unusual if you tell people before the baby is born you might get some unwelcome negative feedback whereas once you say my baby is called x ,unless people are really rude they keep it to themselves !

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 21/03/2013 16:56

Kept it to ourselves...just be vague if you are asked.

Pancakeflipper · 21/03/2013 16:58

Kept our short list to ourselves. Then when PFB was born we took 1 look at him and thought "nah, that doesn't suit you". So ended up with a totally different name.

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 21/03/2013 16:59

We told everyone ridiculous names to stop them bothering us - like Chinchilla and Orchidaceous. Made it clear we did not want their feedback.

AnythingNotEverything · 21/03/2013 17:02

We're keeping our names a secret. Why do people think they're allowed an opinion?!

I have a couple of close friends who are pregnant or who may become pregnant before mine is born ... I might have a quiet amnesty with them so we don't step on each other's toes. I might not though!

Ragwort · 21/03/2013 17:02

We told no one; I quite like Ophelia's suggestion, just mention something outrageous.

Or just keep saying 'we haven't decided yet'.

Or change the subject .

ChippyMinton · 21/03/2013 17:03

We said it was going to be Trevor.
That shut them up.

LoganMummy · 21/03/2013 17:07

We didn't tell anyone, simply because we didn't want anyone's opinion. When asked we simply said we were finding it difficult to decide. That way we didn't hurt any feelings about not sharing.

sweetiepie1979 · 21/03/2013 17:08

I use to tell people pretend names when they wanted to play the name game. But the names i had actually chosen I wouldn't tell at all. People can have very dramatic reactions to names before the baby exists but then when baby's born its all awh fanny I actually like it, she suits it.( just example obviously)

DukeSilver · 21/03/2013 17:13

I didn't know what sex I was going to have to just told people we were waiting to meet baby before we decided on a name. Which was pretty much true really, I had a very vague idea of the kind of names but I totally kept them to myself.

DD ended up with a totally different name anyway because it just suited her

tomatoplantproject · 21/03/2013 17:15

We kept it a secret. If people asked we said we're keeping it a secret. If people pushed we said we didn't want anyone's opinion to colour our choice or debate spelling etc. In the future I would be very careful about offering an opinion since its such a personal choice.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON · 21/03/2013 17:20

We kept quiet too because we didn't want anyone to put us off once we'd decided. I'm glad we did because when DS1 arrived and we said the name, SiL immediately said 'oh well you can always shorten to xxx' wtf ? If we'd wanted to call him xxx we would have

With DS2 we decided on his name about 3 hours before he arrived

willowstar · 21/03/2013 17:20

When I was newly pregnant the first friend I told said do not tell anyone your names before the baby is born....he had and his mil had talke them out of the name they really liked. So I didn't breathe a word until both of mine were born and didn't find out the sex either.

DoIgetastickerforthat · 21/03/2013 17:25

I love the name Primrose, I also love Buttercup but would never have the guts to use it - don't tell unless you want an opinion. I always said "there's a short list but we'll decide once they're here", which was more or less the truth.

Original poster

sjclarke86 · 21/03/2013 17:29

Thanks all. Minds made up we are keeping in quiet. I just wouldn't be so rude as to to say something horrible about a name someone liked, even if I thought it. I would say oh that's nice and leave it there. I'm a wimp on confrontation though.

We really like the name Dennis for a boy and BIL said yeh nice shortened to den, ummm no it's Dennis not den!

Our first scan is tomorrow so jumping the gun anyway, but I think it's going to take us some time to agree :)

OP posts:

nooka · 21/03/2013 17:31

Easiest to say you've not decided and then just listen to suggestions in a neutral way. It helps if you say you don't know if you are having a boy or a girl too.

RuckAndRoll · 21/03/2013 17:39

I learnt from DSIL who announced the day she got the BFP the names they were going to use. After 4 months they changed this to 'we're re-thinking after input from lots of people'. Our beautiful DN has the same name they said at the start they just needed both DM to back off!

So far our stock answer is 'yes, we've decided it will have a name' or 'well we have a short list but it's not up for discussion'.

DH is quite sarcastic and when asked 'Is it a boy or a girl' he responds with ' well, yes, hopefully it'll be a boy or a girl, any type of human being would be nice really'.

cupcake78 · 21/03/2013 17:46

I have a few friends who I ask for their opinion. With my family they tend not to ask and respect its our decision.

In laws are persistent so we make up silly names to tell them. I think they gave up when Peraguin Marmaduke or Foxy Creamcheesecake were mentioned !

I ask on MN if I want a general opinion.

Snowflakepie · 21/03/2013 17:54

I'm quite blunt and say we aren't telling. Both mums are teachers and have opinions on any name going. My own mum was talked out of things by my gran and while my name is fine, I don't think it was DMs first choice. They know we are having a boy, just as they knew DD was a girl, and other than a couple of people trying to get us to say, we didn't get any bad feeling from anyone.

PuffPants · 21/03/2013 18:00

How hard is it to say "We haven't decided yet" or "We're not telling"?

Very rude to hassle people to reveal baby names but, equally, pretty easy to say no and move on.

ladymia · 21/03/2013 18:16

That's pretty much the first rule of naming a baby, keep it a secret from friends and family until after the birth.

The second rule is, once you have 100% decided what you want ... to not come on MN and ask for opinions on it.

Frikadellen · 21/03/2013 19:25

What we did was we told people names we liked but had discounted so for example with Primrose we would have said " we like Rose"

We liked Niamh but decided it was not on the short list (we went down to 5) so if asked we would say "we have spoken of Niamh" this way people felt we were giving them something to talk about and because I had already discounted the name it didn't feel personal when people didn't like it.

Frikadellen · 21/03/2013 19:34

We told people name that was similar to or that we liked but had discounted that was meant to read...

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