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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Would you use a name your DH didn't like?

40 replies

curiousgeorgie · 15/02/2013 09:01

I thought we were 100% set on a name for our DD... Have been since before I was pregnant.

Then last night DH tells me that actually he doesn't like it at all if he's being honest but knows I love it so I can still use it if I want.

What would you do? Not using it feels really sad, but how can I give DD a name her daddy dislikes??!

OP posts:

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drownangels · 15/02/2013 09:03

No I wouldn't.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 15/02/2013 09:05

No I wouldn't, would you be happy if your DH chose a name that you didn't like?

I had a couple of names for my daughter that I loved, but DH didn't like them at all, and so I didn't even contemplate them.

You definitely need to be in agreement on a child's name.

ladymia · 15/02/2013 09:06

No I would never do this.

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 15/02/2013 09:11

I wouldn't have considered it at all for all these months except he's been telling me he likes it for a year...

OP posts:

TheTiger · 15/02/2013 09:13

No I wouldn't. It's a joint decision. Has he said why he's suddenly changed his mind?

armagh · 15/02/2013 09:15

No. But it would be difficult. Could you use it as a middle name?

LalyRawr · 15/02/2013 09:18

My OH & I had a name picked out from the second I found out I was pregnant. I woke him up at 3am when I was 38 weeks sobbing that I hated the name.

Never once did OH expect our baby to still be given that name.

I couldn't imagine having a child with a name I didn't like, wouldn't expect my OH to do just that.

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 15/02/2013 09:39

He's changed his mind because we've had a pretty negative reaction to the name from family & friends. He said he didn't care about that, but that the 'last straw' was when his friend at work 'laughed at the name' which I just don't get. It's a little bit unusual but certainly not laughable. Most people on here loved it.

OP posts:

poppydaisy · 15/02/2013 10:05

No, I don't think you should name your dd a name that you don't BOTH love. Please continue to look - there must be a name you both like!

Ilovecheeseandlovinglife · 15/02/2013 11:03

Me and hubby agreed on a name then he went off it. He knew how much I loved it and couldn't come up with a better name so we went with it. He loves it now that he has our baby's face to put with it. As far as I'm concerned its you that's carrying the baby and it'll already have his last name so mums should have final say on first name! X

LittleChimneyDroppings · 15/02/2013 11:07

I had the same problem as you with dc2. Dh changed his mind at the last minute, after the name had been agreed for months. I did think about going ahead anyway, but thought it wouldn't be fair, and might also have a negative impact on dh bonding with dc if he hated the name.

KirstyoffEastenders · 15/02/2013 11:08

What is the name?

SugarMeFingers · 15/02/2013 11:10

I really loved the name Imogen for my second dd, but DH wasn't overly keen, he didn't hate the name but didn't love it either. He did like the nn Imy tho.
We went with Imogen and he loves it now, he associates the name with her now and it really suits her.
I wouldn't have chosen a name he hated, but to be honest he really isn't bothered with names, he sees the person and thinks the names kind of attaches to them over time!

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 15/02/2013 12:26

It's Seraphina.

I've posted about it before I know, but that's when it was me & DH loving if against the world

OP posts:

diddl · 15/02/2013 12:28

How long has he been telling you that he likes the name when he doesn´t??

Weird!

Can´t help thinking that he does like it really, but isn´t brave enough.

My own Mum told me that she didn´t like PFB´s name-after he was born!!

I told her that I wasn´t asking her opinion-but informing her of her GS´s name!

diddl · 15/02/2013 12:29

I think that that´s lovely!

What has he suggested?

Thumbwitch · 15/02/2013 12:30

I don't think I would, no.

But it's a bit different for you, isn't it - your DH is allowing other people's perceptions to put him off and that's a bit feeble, IMO. So he should man up if he genuinely liked the name before and say "sod the others" - children grow into their names anyway and people with any sense stop being wankers about the names and just accept that the child is called that. People who can't stop being wankers about it should just fall our of your circle of acquaintance.

I like Seraphina. I like Serena too - my great gran was called that, I would have liked to use it for a DD if I'd had one.

badtime · 15/02/2013 12:37

It sounds like he does like it, but doesn't like the reaction.

People wouldn't react like that if the name was already attached to the baby, so to speak.

I probably wouldn't use the name if he really didn't like it, but I would try to get to the bottom of things before making any decisions.

Sashapineapple · 15/02/2013 12:58

No, it has to be a joint decision. Although I do think it's a lovely name, prefer the spelling Serafina, but if your DH doesn't like it then it's a big no.

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 15/02/2013 16:09

I love the spelling Serafina actually. I've been torn between the two.

I've spoken to him about it and basically he loves Sephy / Serry or any nickname, but thinks he's going to be uncomfortable when people laugh when he says her whole name.

He's been telling me he like this name, and referring to our future baby by this name for about two years all in all, since we first started thinking abou ttc again.

OP posts:

ladymia · 15/02/2013 16:12

I think it's a very marmite name, I for instance do not like but but many people do. So I think the mistake he made is telling people whereas if he waiting until after she was born people would have not said a word about it.

But then again sometimes people go off names too, perhaps he's just gone of it. I know I have gone off names for no particular reason.

People would NOT laugh if he told them "my baby's name is Seraphina" after she is born

flowersinherhair · 15/02/2013 17:23

I did. Dp and his whole family were against the name I chose but my pregnancy hormones made me very unreasonable about it. I compromised by choosing a safe middle name that dd could use when she was older as they said she would get picked on at school. Her name is beautiful and everyone comments on how lovely it is and how much it suits her. It's not even a weird name, she's called Violet. I had to compromise when second dd was born and let him choose the name, which was an ok name but I didn't love it iykwim.

flowersinherhair · 15/02/2013 17:25

Also the family have said how wrong they were and they also love her name now :D

CheeseStrawWars · 15/02/2013 17:29

Your DH's colleague is rude. I think it's a lovely name.

While I wouldn't use a name my DH hated as I would expect that courtesy to cut both ways, I'd expect him to have the balls to stick by his original decision and trust his own judgement. So I'd fight my corner in this particular instance.

Sarafina is another variant, though I prefer yours.

TheTiger · 15/02/2013 17:33

Oh, I think it's a beautiful name. What a shame he's changed his mind. Could it be her middle name?

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