Crochet for idiots - send Granny home!

[BroccoliSpears]

My granny has declared that she's not going home until I can satisfactorily crochet.

I'm so bad at it!

I suddenly grow 4 extra thumbs and 9 elbows and I can't tell which is the hole I'm supposed to go through or which way to wrap the wool around.

I neeeeeeed a site with really really really REALLY clear drawings and instructions or Granny's never going home.

Please help!

Have a look at site - it has dozens of links to crochet lessons. I hope you find some which help.

In the meantime, just enjoy Granny's company

can you send her to mine when she's done at yours - I really, really want to be able to crochet!

I don't know about a site but, if you use a book, the best one is the Jan Eaton- compendium of crochet, by far the clearest instructions I've ever seen.
My mum taught me though and I do think it's easier if you get someone to show you.
The Debbie Stoller book is not one I'd recommend for beginners, it totally confused me and I've been crocheting for years and although the patterns are nice they are riddled with mistakes that a beginner would not pick up on.
Gm, if I'm ever up your way, I'd be more than willing to show you.