Free instant gratification patterns for lazy knitters

[EarlyIntheMorning]

I am an accomplished knitter (except for the fact that I cannot knit in the round) but I like instant gratification and have no patience for long complicated patterns. I thought it would be nice for us to share our favourite quick knit free pattern here. I would prefer it if it could be worked on 2 flat needles, but that's just me. This is my first contribution because my feet are freezing right now!
coffeee2001.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/simple-knitted-slippers-from-1940s.html

Hey does no one want to share?

I'll bump for you because I want easy knits too

TheWoollyBacksWife has a Ravelry link for a newborn garter stitch hat. I can't link because I'm on my phone, sorry. I've just knitted one, and although my sewing up leaves something to be desired, it's a really easy knit and can be done in the round, or flat. If you're on Ravelry, I've got it saved under my projects, I'm the same user name on there as here.

Looking forward to seeing other suggestions!

Slippers are not instant enough for me :)
I have lots of really quick knits but can't link as I'm on my iPod.
I recently made stuffed heart shaped bunting for my niece, which turned out beautiful. Also a lace cowl.
I'm making a toy comforter for a friend's baby, which is happening quickly.
If I need a quick pattern I just google it and loads of stuff comes up.
I have very little time to knit so quick stuff is ideal at the moment.
I'll try and link stuff when I get to use the laptop (which is never) :)

Oooh, I have the perfect thing! I give you...
Wham Bam Thank You Lamb

It's very easy and quick and it looks great. I made one using some leftover Noro and I've had tons of compliments on it. Took me two hours tops to make.

Hmm... I don't have one to share, but was wondering if anyone can link (or just tell me, tbh ) to a scarf pattern ?

My (teen) dd has asked if I could knit 3 scarves as presents for her friends for Christmas - she wants chunky, longish, and, oddly enough I've never knitted a scarf - do I just get some chunky wool and big needles and do a bit of stocking stitch? Any thoughts how many stiches I should cast on ? Do I need to do anything at the ends (like you would rib at the start of a jumper?)

I thank you.

Scarf - www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/lacey-3 Free pattern, easy, in super chunky.

For no pattern - don't do stocking stitch because it will roll up like a bastard. I would maybe use chunky and 7mm needles, cast on about 30-40 stitches and do 2 x 2 rib until it's long enough.

And BackforGood - I would show her how to do it herself the cheeky mare.

www.ravelry.com/patterns/search#photo=yes&craft=knitting&view=captioned_thumbs&weight=bulky&availability=free&sort=popularity&pc=scarf 944 free scarf patterns in chunky weight on Rav.

Thanks Moaning
I did try to teach her, earlier this year - couldn't believe the mess she got into. I'm left handed, not very co-ordinated, certainly not artistic in anyway, and I can knit, so I was just STUNNED at the mess she got into - and she even managed to break one of my needles .
Thought it better for my inner peace to do them for her, as I quite like knitting, and can use it as leverage for her to do things I don't like doing

Backforgood look for Sirdar Bohemia, you'll also need 20mm needles, one ball makes one scarf, in a slip stitch pattern, the pattern is on the ball band and there is a YouTube tutorial.
You could do different colours each, I got mine from black sheep wool as I think it was in their clearance bit. you'll need a couple of balls for a different pattern, as it is super chunky but I knitted a whole scarf in about two and a half hours.

Thanks goodjambadjar I like the sound of knitting in an evening

You only cast on 6 stitches! The wool and needles are massive, so you cast on 6, knit one, wrap twice, knit, wrap twice, to the end of the row. Then for the next row you knit the first, slip the wraps and so on. Repeat until you run out of wool!

Wow! Sounding better by the minute!